Along the Creek
by kcfantastic
Summary: Tweek and Craig have had to be in a fake relationship for so long that they finally decide to do something about it. But when they no longer have to pretend to be together, how do they deal with their growing feelings for each other? Rated M for language, and sexual content. Creek, Bunny and Kyman.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: This is my first time writing fanfiction, so I'm still getting used to how everything works. Please feel free to leave reviews to tell me how I'm doing!**

"Are you ok?" Craig asked, looking down at the cringing blonde boy. He was always cringing so it was hard to tell.

Tweek opened his large green eyes, "I-I'm ok. I said we could do this so-" He winced again. Craig looked down at him worriedly. His thick lashes covering his narrow eyes.

"I just feel like this would be easier on you if you weren't shaking so much." Really Tweek vibrating around Craig's dick was rather lovely for Craig, but it seemed to not be helping Tweek in the slightest.

"Do you know who you're fucking?!" Tweek asked, perplexed."I offered to have you top", Craig sighed. This was the first time they had ever tried anything, in the eight years since they had "come out" as gay to appease the town. They had tried to shake the stigma, and most of the students understood by this point that they weren't really an item, still none of the girls would date them. And if any of them did, they were made pariahs of the town. Craig and Tweeks "love" set the example for the rest of the town. If Craig and Tweek weren't happy in love, then no one else was. They took this responsibility seriously, but it was still hard to deal with all of the pent up sexual frustration. So they finally decided to do something about it.

"No-ngh-I-I told you, I'm saving myself for someone special."

"I think this still counts as losing your virginity."

Tweek gasped.

"Oh come on, you knew this was sex, I'm wearing a freaking condom for fuck's sake."

"N-n-n-n-n-no, I-I think you found it."

"Really?" Craig readjusted himself, to get an easier access to that spot. He hit it again. Tweek grabbed his neck.

"And-ngh-it-doesn't count, so long as I'm not the one doing the fucking. Gah!" Craig began to pant, his face burning a bright red.

"Are you ok?!" Craig stopped.

"Yes! It's just starting to feel really good so hurry up already." Tweek thrust his hips upward, trying to get Craig to hit the sweet spot manually. Craig gave out a short breath of a chuckle.

"Okay." Craig picked up the pace, in and out, in and out. Each thrust a little faster than the last.

Craig could tell that he was going to cum soon. _Shit_. He didn't want to cum before Tweek that seemed, unprofessional…or something, definitely uncool. He dipped his head down onto Tweek's chest and started to lick and graze against his nipple.

Tweek gasped. Twitching away from the tongue, but Craig wrapped his mouth around the nipple, so that it would be grazed sharply by teeth if Tweek tried to move.

Tweek clung to the headboard to fight the inclination. "Ugh-Stop it Craig-it" He gasped, it was starting to get difficult to breath, "It feels….weird" He let out a big sigh, his eyes closed tightly. Saliva was dribbling out of his mouth. He was getting really close to climaxing.

Craig rammed into Tweek one final momentous time, and Tweek screamed out in ecstasy. _Finally_. Craig came as he slowly pulled out, getting cum in both Tweek's asshole, on his thigh, and on Craig's 'Red Rocket' sheets.

"Shit." Craig sighed, looking at the damage.

"Oh no! What if your mom finds out when she's washing the sheets-what if she tells my parents? What if they try and give me the talk _again_! I can't go through that again, man! Too much pressure!" Tweek's dad had even gone so far as to demonstrate how to put on a condom in front of him. Tweek had never wanted to see his dad's dick, and now the image was burned forever into his mind.

"Relax." Craig said, pulling off of Tweek. "I'll wash it myself." He sighed, "But you should go take a shower, before it hardens."

"Hardens? Like a freaking countdown? That's too much pressure Craig!"

"Then go."

Tweek jumped out of the bed, and ran into the bathroom. Craig could hear the door slam.

Craig dipped a finger into a small pile of semen on the bed. It was bitter, and had the hint of coffee. _That liar, he hasn't quit coffee, at all._ No wonder he was so freaking twitchy, that little spaz.

Craig sprayed some _Tyde instant_ on the sheets then rolled them up and threw them into the hamper. He would have to wash them while his parents were gone, so his mom wouldn't see, that or find a local laundromat. His mom would think he was mature enough to handle his own laundry if she heard him using the machine, and that added chore would be a real pain. He already had two Guinea pigs to take care of, what more could they ask of him?

The Guinea pigs in question had had their cage covered in light of this experiment. Which, Craig had to admit had gone rather well. He didn't think he would be able to get it up for Tweek, but the dude had gotten to him. Maybe he saw what all the other swooning girls at school saw. The boyish face, easy smile (well it was never all that easy, but when he was smiling it looked easy) the solid frame, the thinner six-pack.

That isn't to say that Craig wasn't a catch. But he looked far more rugged. His muscles where bigger and more developed, his always stoic expression gave him a mysterious air, and his smile, rarely shown, could melt. And perhaps his most beautiful feature on his handsomely chiseled face that looked like a marble sculpture, where his eyes. Those small narrow slits had the most beautiful color of grey, you could ever see. It didn't make sense to call them grey, it seemed too boring and unattractive a word for these eyes, but there was no other word for it.

The door opened and Tweek walked in, wrapped in a towel like a girl, hair straight and slid back with the moisture.

Annnnnd Craig was hard again.

Craig quickly grabbed some underwear from his dresser and pulled them and his sweats on before Tweek could notice his erection. The sweats were efficiently roomy.

"Can you toss me my pants?"Tweek asked, blushing.

"You don't have to go home you know, my parents won't be home till tomorrow afternoon." Craig tossed him the pants.

"Yeah, but what if they come home and find us here. They'll find out, dude! I can't have that, way too much pressure!" Tweek hurriedly pulled them up, never minding that they were inside out.

Craig tossed him his shirt. Tweek put it on, leaving the buttons to hang open over his naked chest. He was never able to button them up all the way, so if he could get away with it, he left them open.

"So um…"Craig placed his hand behind his head, feeling awkward all of a sudden. "Was it, good?"

Tweek's blush deepened, and he looked away swiftly. "Yeah man, I mean, I came didn't I?"

Craig nodded, his expression in his go to neutral state. Tweek was usually the only person who got to see any real emotion. And that was because they were always stuck together, in field trips, as lab partners, you name it, if there needed to be more than one person to do something, Tweek and Craig were paired up to do it. Much to their annoyance.

"So, would you want to do this again?" Craig kept his neutral expression, not wanting his hope to throw Tweek in any given direction.

Tweek studied him out of the corner of his eye, he always hated it when Craig went all zombie on him. He understood that Craig didn't like anyone being able to tell what he was thinking. Gave him an edge or whatever. But throwing this kind of decision on Tweek was totally unfair. It was way too much pressure.

Sighing, Tweek turned back around to face him. "I mean yeah…if you want to-or whatever. It's not like we can get any from anyone else anyway. Tweek twitched, then walked out of room.

"I'll text you!" Craig called after him.

"I know" Craig heard Tweek call back.

Craig's dad had only been home for twenty minutes before he turned the tv on. This was usual of most people in South Park, brainless watchers of television. Really, Craig was surprised there weren't more salespeople around, the town was filled with gullible suckers who would buy anything that was put in front of them.

Tweek sat on the couch across from him. On the tv was a documentary about gay people, and their parents coming to accept that they weren't straight.

"It got to the point where we were in such deep denial that we started letting them go into her room alone. With the door closed! Even though she had told us countless times that she was gay! Looking back on it, it was really irresponsible of us, I mean I wouldn't have allowed that kind of behavior had it been a boy. We finally realized that they were really dating, and had to accept it, I think we are all a lot happier now that we can be open about Tanya's sexuality." The mother on the tv said.

Craig could feel his dad's eyes on him. He turned to see what was up.

"I am so sorry Craig." His dad said, eyes watering. You really have been straight all along haven't you? Why couldn't I see it before?"

Craig was too shocked to roll his eyes. Television had done it again. Brainwashed parents into believing its message. This documentary was on basic cable, which meant all the ignorant masses of south park would soon be convinced.

Finally, the time had come when people were going to listen to Craig when he told them that he and Tweek weren't dating. There was no longer any pressure for them to pretend to be together. It should have felt like a huge weight had been lifted from Craig's shoulders, but instead he was just too shocked to move.

And when he finally came to his senses, it wasn't relief or joy that he felt, it was hollowness. _If that documentary had never come on, I'd be so happy….Wait what?!_

Of course it would be now. Of course the universe would choose now to remind Craig… that no matter how hard he wished for it not to be, most things were out of his control. Now, when there was no need to keep up the charade, no need to continue pretending to be together, and all the reason for them to finally seek some hetero poo tang, Craig realized that he had feelings for Tweek.

Fucking great.

He flashed the universe the bird.


	2. Chapter 2

Tweek was sore, like really sore. He limped his way up the stairs. His parents were downstairs, watching TV. Tweek was glad, he couldn't deal with them now; couldn't pretend like he hadn't just done _that_ with his 'boyfriend'. Way. Too. Much. Pressure.

I mean how was he even going to make it to school tomorrow, feeling like this? He thought he'd have been better by now, but it still felt the same as yesterday. He couldn't sit down, he had to lie on his stomach to get comfortable. His parents had only taken his behavior as a part of his spazziness, and for once he was grateful they never took him seriously.

Tweek flopped onto his bed, the door swinging shut behind him. His room was a mess. Clothes strewn around the room, playboys not even artfully hidden. Originally he had purchased them as a way to get his parents to believe he was straight, but all it lead to was that stupid sex talk incident and his parents buying him a whole slew of gay magazines and yaoi, thinking that Tweek was unaware that there were gay options for that sort of thing. Tweek hadn't been aware, but it wasn't like he wanted to be either. Those magazines were the vain of his existence, and whenever one was delivered, he actually took the care to throw them away. Not wanting 'Mr. March' to stare up at him, when he glanced at his floor. He didn't read the playboys either, he wasn't actually interested in scantily dressed women. Huh. Maybe he was gay.

Tweek's asshole burned. His mind wandered back to last night, when he and Craig finally did something. It had been better than he'd imagined. His dick wasn't even touched, and yet he came anyway, and hard. So hard! It was one of the best moments of his life, and one of the scariest. Tweek had felt like Craig was going to rip him apart from the inside. Then he would have had to go to the doctor who would know what they had been doing and then, gah, tell the news station who would broadcast it live to all the channels around the world that Tweek was gay, and had gotten hurt trying to have sex.

But Craig hadn't torn him apart. Instead all Tweek had to show for the night's adventure was a sore asshole, and no one could see that. Maybe the underwear gnomes, but they were more interested in Tweek's underwear, not his body. Tweek and the gnomes had come to an agreement of sorts. He wouldn't keep telling people of their existence, if they would only take his underwear once a month, and warn him ahead of time, so that he could go out and buy some more for the morning. Tweek valued underwear, especially since it had been snatched away from him so often when he was a child, and no one ever believed his story as to why.

Craig had bought Tweek underwear once. He had noticed how weird Tweek had been acting at school when he wasn't wearing underwear, and had been keeping a spare pack of underwear in his back pack for Tweek, just in case. Craig really was one of Tweek's best friends. One of the few people who didn't just disregard Tweek for a crazy little spaz. (Tweek was 5'11 and half he'd have you know) and still everyone was looking down on him. Craig took him seriously, and would actually sit down with him and talk through all his fears with him, pointing out all the irrational crap that had made it into Tweek's reasoning.

Craig blamed all of Tweek's spazziness on his coffee habits, but Tweek refused to hear it. He had been drinking coffee since his mother started weening him from the breast. He wasn't going to stop drinking it just because Craig made him promise not to. He was never going to find out anyway. Tweek worked at his parent's Harbucks, and got his fix in the back room. Craig wasn't allowed to go into the back room, so there.

Still, Tweek didn't know where he'd be without Craig, probably in a mental ward or something, where they secretly give patients full on lobotomies without consent, because they get off on torture and suffering. Or maybe he'd have freaked out in front of the wrong person, and they'd have killed him on the spot. Tweek was very afraid of death, for a twerp who was afraid of living.

Tweek rolled onto his back, then yelped, and rolled back onto his stomach. He hoped that the next time he and Craig did this, he wouldn't be so sore afterwards. _Next time?_ Tweek shook his head, he was looking forward to more sex already. Man how perverted. Add that to the giant list of things wrong with him. Tweek sighed. He wasn't going to push the issue, he didn't want to scare Craig away, and this arrangement had really done something to quell his frustration. He was eighteen after all. Practically everything made his dick stand tall, and Craig was no exception. Tweek had thought he was a-sexual, and just had a dick with a mind of its own, wanting to be rubbed at random times during the day for no reason at all. But when he saw Craig, shirt off, standing awkwardly by the bed, telling him his idea to try and get each other off, Tweek had wanted him. His mind and his dick had for the first time come to a conclusion of arousal at the same time. Maybe Tweek just wanted Craig. But only in a sexual way. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Sex sure, I mean who wouldn't want to do Craig Tucker? He was built like Zack Effron, and had a face that looked sculpted. But more than that? After all those years that Craig and Tweek spent trying to convince people they weren't actually a couple and their relationship was completely platonic, Tweek didn't think so.

There was a KNOCK at the door. Tweek jumped, and screamed. Mr. and Mrs. Tweak walked into the room without any acknowledgment.

They sat down beside him on the bed. Mrs. Tweak picked up a 'Playboy' from the floor, and studied it, sighing. "We should have known."

"Should have known what? Gah!" Tweek looked up at his mother and scrambled to his knees, wincing at the pain as he did so.

"Well son, like a midsummer morning on the coast of California, as the waves wash away the castles of children frolicking without thought, so must a time come when a wave washes over the ignorance of your parents in the premonitions they had built up in their minds." Tweek's father said, patting him on the back.

"What the hell does that mean?!" Tweek asked, annoyed that his father always had to talk like that.

"We know you're not gay Tweek." Mr. Tweak replied.

Tweek gawked at them.

"We saw a documentary on tv about parents misinterpreting sexuality. We realize now that you were never into dick, like you tried to explain to us so many times before." His mother added.

"We love you son, even if this means you are just a weird spaz with nothing going on up there." Mr. Tweak tapped Tweek's head.

Tweek's parents got up off of his bed, and left Tweek's room, without another word.

Tweek closed his eyes and started rolling around, his hands tugging at his wild hair. "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh!" He cried as he ignored the pain the movement caused him, while trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

After about five minutes of this, Tweek finally snapped out of it, and with a bright smile grabbed his phone from his nightstand.

"Hello?" Craig's voice was heard through the cell's speaker.

"Did you hear about the documentary?!" Tweek asked excitedly.

Craig took a moment to respond. "Yes…"

"Isn't it great?!" Tweek cried, "We don't have to pretend for people anymore!"

* * *

Craig was stricken, this call coming right after he realized he had _real_ feelings for Tweek was making his insides hurt. He replied numbly, "Yeah." Then hung up, not knowing/willing to say anymore.

Craig slowly walked up to his room, and ignored his father as he called out to him. He shut the door behind him, a little more loudly than he meant to, and went to hold his guinea pigs. They looked up at him lovingly. Craig was one of the few humans that knew how to treat a guinea pig right. But when he started shaking, and they started to panic, Craig quickly put them back into their cage. "Sorry." He whispered to them softly, then dropped to the side of his bed. He leaned his head against the frame. Tears rolling down his cheeks.

He didn't quite know why he was crying. He assumed it had something to do with Tweek, and the feelings that had chosen this most inopportune moment to show up. But really, it was more of what Tweek had just told him on the phone. And his excitement on the prospect of no longer having to be together.

It wasn't fair of Craig to feel this way, he reasoned. Being the town's example couple had been the vein of both boy's existence for the last eight years, they had pulled many failed schemes together throughout those years to try and get an excuse to break up. And now, the universe had just dropped one into their laps, and there was no excuse to not be happy about this good fortune. But Craig felt like someone had just backed an orange-cart over his heart, and his stomach felt like he had eaten rancid City Wok.

After a good hour of crying and sobbing, and getting it all out there, Craig plastered on his indifferent composure, and resolved that he would give Tweek the freedom he deserved, and be super courteous when he and Tweek had the conversation Craig knew was coming. Well he hoped was coming. Somehow, even though their relationship had only been a farce, he still felt like he needed some closure for the whole thing. If Tweek just started acting like they hadn't been pretend boyfriends for the last few years, Craig wasn't sure he could handle it. But no matter what happened, Craig was going to maintain his cool. His reputation, let alone their friendship was not worth a crushed heart.

* * *

At school the next morning everyone was staring at Tweek and Craig. Except –oddly enough- for Cartman, who looked like he was in a very bad mood. Eric Cartman had grown a lot since elementary school, his chub was gone, and instead he was a well-built athlete, tall, -though not as tall as Craig- and very handsome. If it wasn't for his rotten personality, girls would be all over him. But you can only change the shell, not the crab.

Tweek and Craig walked together to their shared first period as usual, but the stares they were receiving where very unnerving.

When they reached their first period class, Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny were already in their usual seats. Tweek went to his seat in the front, and Craig took his in the back. Cartman sat next to him.

"So you lied to everyone this whole time!" Cartman said, accusingly.

Shut up, Cartman," Kyle turned around to face him. "They told us a thousand times they weren't gay, it's our fault for not believing them."

"Our fault?" Cartman scoffed, "They frolicked around, holding hands and everything."

"Well, that was for the South Park's benefit." Wendy chipped in. "Don't you remember how depressed everyone got when they thought that they had broken up?"

"Whatever." Cartman stared angrily at his desk.

Craig just looked forward, not caring, looking as though all their opinions were beneath him. So like normal.

Kenny walked into class late, as usual. Bebe walked in behind him, her face flushed. Looks like she was his latest victim of quickie cunnilingus.

The teacher pointed to a seat in the front, and Kenny sighed and took it, while Bebe escaped to the back. Kenny and Tweek always had to sit in the front. Tweek for being a general distraction to himself and others, and Kenny for being well… Kenny. Kenny was up there for a lot of reasons. Teachers really had to keep an eye on that perverted vigilante. If he wasn't constantly monitored, teachers worried that he would start a sexual act with someone else in the middle of class, distracting everyone, and tarnishing several reputations in the process. He was also getting hurt all the time, extremely, yet he'd always show up a little while later completely fine. People suspected these instances where elaborate tactics to get out of class early, and the teachers weren't having it.

Kenny turned to Tweek. "So you aren't gay, huh?" Tweek shook his head forcefully. Kenny eyed him up and down, and flicked his tongue inside his mouth, so that Tweek could briefly see Kenny's tongue ring. "Shame."

"Mr. McCormick!" The English teacher snapped. Kenny turned to face the board, an angelic expression on his face. Kenny still wore his orange parka, but had stopped covering his mouth when he found out how talented he was at using it; among other parts of his body, but he couldn't get away with exposing those.

When the bell rang, Kenny languidly walked out, followed by a diligent Butters. Cartman stormed out, practically fuming, and Kyle followed behind him to make sure he didn't do anything to anyone. Craig didn't make any move to get up. Tweek tried to get up but ended up spilling all of his school supplies on the floor and having to pick them back up. When he did, he looked back at Craig who was only staring straight forward. He motioned at Craig like he wanted him to follow.

Craig sighed, and got out of his seat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note:**

 **Hello there!**

 **I'm sorry things are moving so slowly, sigh. Any who, I've introduced some b-story ships into the mix. Please don't hate me! If you want to stop reading because you don't like Kyman or Bunny pairings, I get it, they weren't originally advertised. Please continue to be patient with me, again I am super new, and have no idea what I'm doing.**

 **-Thanks!**

Craig reluctantly followed Tweek out of the classroom. He knew what was about to happen, and made a mental note to keep his face neutral at all costs.

Tweek motioned towards a nearby janitor's closet, and crossed over to it. Craig just stood against a set of lockers, staring at him like he was an idiot.

"Come on-ngh!" Tweek motioned more frantically. His jittering visible even from across the hall.

"Really?" Craig asked, the cliché of hiding in a janitor's closet was a little too much for Craig.

"Err! Yes, come on already." Craig sighed and followed suit.

Craig shut the door behind them, and turned to face Tweek, who had already cleared a little space for them to talk.

"You know, it's going to be harder for people to believe we aren't a couple, if they keep catching us hiding in closets." Craig said, rolling his eyes.

"I-it was the only place I could think of! Fine, you pick next time!" Tweek said, irritated.

 _Next time…_ Those magic words again. Craig had to focus on keeping his face from showing any emotion.

"What did you need to talk to me about in a closet, Tweek?"

Tweek shuffled and looked at the ground, his face reddening. "Well, we need to discuss how we're going to play this out." He stammered out.

"Play _what_ out?" Craig asked, already knowing and dreading the answer.

"This whole, 'we're not gay anymore' thing! What are we supposed to do now, Craig?"

Craig breathed out a snort. "We don't have to do anything. It's been them making all of this up in their heads this whole time. Let them figure out what they want to think, it has nothing to do with us."

Tweek looked up at his ex-fake-boyfriend in deep admiration, and something else Craig couldn't put his finger on. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Was that all you dragged me in here for? The janitor's probably going to want his mop soon." Craig asked, slightly irritated that he had to spell this out for Tweek. They were done, there wasn't any need to help them be any more so.

"Ugh." Tweek stammered, his face reddening even more, if that were even possible. He looked down again, shook his head and then stared back up at Craig. "Um do you like anyone?"

"What?" Craig was suddenly entirely unsure where this conversation was heading. "…no?" _Except you, but I plan to squish those feelings and ignore them to the best of my ability._

"Me neither!" Tweek beamed again. "So maybe-until we get g-girlfriends of course-maybe we could you know uh." He looked away from Craig again. "Help each other out-still."

Now Craig was twitching, the urge to jump for joy was messing with his default cool. He took a deep breath to quell the inclination.

"Sure, Tweek, Whatever you want." Tweek looked somewhat annoyed, but smiled up at Craig anyway.

"Ok, I guess we're secret fuck buddies then!" Tweek shoved past a shocked Craig, and left him behind in the closet.

Secret Fuck buddies. _The fuck?_

* * *

 _Stupid fuckboy Craig did it again!_ Tweek shook his head. Tweek knew Craig better than anyone, that fact was pretty much forced upon him when the Asian girls started drawing them gay. And he knew when Craig was deliberately hiding his feelings. He usually did, Craig had an ego complex, and usually Tweek didn't mind, except when he was trying to have a serious conversation.

"Sure Tweek, whatever you want", Tweek mocked under his breath. Was Craig even cool with this arrangement? Was he just giving in to make Tweek happy? Tweek didn't know. Why couldn't Craig just be a human being and give an inkling of a personal response for once.

 _I mean seriously, it's like he doesn't care about this at all! We're finally free, and he doesn't think we need to do anything about it._ Tweek's face contorted into a sad expression. Craig was amazing. He danced to the beat of his own drum and never cared what anyone thought. But Tweek? He was a wuss who was afraid of offending anyone and being left behind. Craig would leave anyone behind if he didn't deign to be in there company anymore. Why couldn't Tweek be that independent?

The thought made his insides heart. Tweek wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep his intestines from falling out. _What if he really did only agree to continue to help me out because he's just a good friend?_ Tweek sighed and continued on his way to his second period, which he was very late for, by the way.

* * *

Craig leaned back in his seat. The nice thing about being known as mysterious, was that no one stole your seat in the back. Mysterious and brooding people sat in the back, it was just the way things were, plus everyone was afraid to find out what would happen if they stole Craig's seat as well. But Craig just attributed that to his mysteriousness and ignored the probable reason: that it was because Craig was 6'2 and built like a horse, and never smiled. At anyone. Ever.

The teacher droned on about lysosomes or something stupid, while Craig day-dreamed about Tweek-his now secret fuck buddy. Where the hell did that title come from? Tweek was usually a weirdo, but that bluntness in the closet had really made Craig feel taken-aback. In reality Tweek was probably one of the bluntest people Craig knew. The little spaz couldn't keep anything to himself. But this? Calling yourself a secret fuck buddy? What the hell was up with Tweek? It had taken two hours of calm debating with Tweek to even get him to consider having sex with Craig, and now he's a fuck buddy? What the hell is a fuck buddy anyway? Like a friends with benefits kind of situation?

Regardless, Craig couldn't say he was unhappy. He had been afraid that this whole ordeal was going to mean that he and Tweek couldn't ever do _that_ again. And he so wanted to, his dick was hard just thinking about it.

Maybe he'd see how far he could take this new fuck-buddy relationship afterschool today. Yeah, that's a good idea. Maybe this whole thing was really a blessing in disguise. Now he could go out on the town without people giggling and thumbs upping about him being gay, and still get laid by Tweek. It was a fantastic set up. _Except if Tweek gets a girlfriend that is._ Craig shook his head. He refused to think about that right now, after all Tweek had said that he wasn't into anyone, and if it had taken eight years for him and Craig to get anywhere, there was really no need for concern right?

Right?

* * *

The bell rang, and Kenny rushed out of his classroom. Not bothering to accept the evil-eye his math teacher was undoubtedly giving him.

Stan and Wendy where hanging out by their lockers. Stan didn't have a last period, and usually just spent it hanging out with Wendy in the student council room. Kenny pushed his beautiful blonde hair back and swaggered over to them.

"Hey guys". He said putting his arm around the both of them.

"Hey Kenny!" Stan greeted his still good friend.

"What's up Kenny?" Wendy asked.

"Well, I have a proposition for you two."

"Oh no." Stan groaned. Wendy looked at Kenny worriedly.

"What kind of proposition?" She asked, suspicious.

"Don't ask him that, now he's going to tell us." Stan said.

"Well," Kenny took that as permission. "I think we can help each other out. See you've never had a threesome right?" He asked looking from Stand to Wendy, still tucked in his arms.

"No." Stan and Wendy say together in unison.

"Here me out." Kenny sighed, and flashed his mesmerizing dark blue eyes at the both of them. "I'm really good in bed, just so you know. Ask around."

"We've heard." Wendy says, rolling her eyes.

"Look, threesomes are the best, but this would actually be really helpful to me too. And I feel only you can help."

"How are we the only ones who can help?" Stan asks, annoyed.

"See, I've never been with a lesbian before."

"What?!" Wendy shrieked. Struggling and failing to get out of Kenny's arm.

"Dude, that's not cool. She's my girlfriend." Stan says angrily.

"What? Oh no," Kenny looks at Wendy, legitimately apologetic. "I wasn't talking about you babe, but trust me, I think you'd be fun to fool around with too.

Stan's blue eyes go wide and he sputters "I'm not a lesbian!"

"Yeah you are dude." Kenny replies back factually.

"No-what? In what way?"

"You're a vegetarian." Kenny says with a shrug. Releasing Stan and Wendy.

"Just because he's a vegetarian, doesn't mean he's a lesbian." Wendy said matter of factly.

"Well neither eat meat so….tomato tomato" Kenny says, and Wendy can't help but crack up at this.

"Wendy!" Stan says disbelieving.

"I'm sorry Stan, he has a point." She starts laughing again.

"So what do you say?" Kenny asks them again.

"It's very tempting, but I think it's a no." Wendy says. Then she walks away, still laughing.

Stan chases after her. "Wendy-Not cool dude!"

Kenny sighs. He doesn't want to do Bebe anymore. It's not that she isn't fun, but Kenny liked to fuck up people's worlds when he did it. Kenny preferred the more innocent, those who didn't know to say no, so that he could give them something they never knew they wanted. Experienced people were good for a decent bang, but you could get away with a lot more freaky stuff with innocent people. And the freaky stuff was the best! And Kenny was the best at it. People were usually too afraid to try it though, which saddened Kenny.

Kenny was a philanthropist in his own way. He liked to make people feel good, and even though he was a huge pervert, he was a generous lover. Plus sex helped to keep him grounded, since he was dying all the freaking time, and was often tempted to just let go, and allow himself to completely fall apart mentally.

Kenny starts to walk out of the building, but his eyes catch a familiar blonde walking past, and suddenly, Kenny and his little Kenny perk up.

* * *

Cartman had been acting like a brat all day. Kyle had to stop him from beating up three-different people for doing absolutely nothing. Kyle was the only one known to never take any of Cartman's crap, so it was generally seen as his duty to corral him. Kyle wasn't a fan of this so called duty, but probably would have gotten involved anyway, had he witnessed any of Cartman's bigotry.

Kyle saw him walking out of the school gate. "Hey fatass!" He called, running after him.

Cartman turned around, angry, his fist ready to punch the offender. But when he saw it was Kyle, he sighed and released his bunched up fingers. "What do you want Jew?" He asked, venom seeping.

"What the hell has been up your ass all day, Cartman?" Kyle asked indignant. "You've been acting like a bigger jerk than usual."

Cartman shrugged. "Why do you care so much?" he spat.

"I care, because I'm the one who has to make sure you don't cause trouble."

"You don't have to do anything, Kahl." Cartman replied. "Leave me alone if it's such a burden."

"The hell are you talking about?" Kyle asked perplexed. He hadn't said anything about it being a burden.

"Whatever, just go away." Cartman said, turning around, and starting on his walk home, without another word.

Kyle followed after him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: So apparently my line dividers haven't been showing up, I'm sorry! It must have been really confusing since I switch character p.o.v a lot. I promise I wasn't trying to be an asshole and force you guys to figure this stuff out yourselves! I fixed it, so from now on the story should be easier to read!**

* * *

Craig stood outside the flagpole, waiting for someone. His expression was clear, and as his grey eyes scanned the crowd of exiting students, you had to be completely a-sexual to not find him attractive. Like really not having it, because Craig looked FINE. He always did of course. But now people weren't afraid to openly check him out. That whole gay relationship thing had been a farce, right?

Angel Freeda was one of those people. She passed Craig while walking home with Bebe, and decisively turned around to get a better eyeful. Angel had long light blond hair pulled up behind her head, a sprinkle of freckles across her face, and gorgeous brown eyes. She abandoned Bebe for a moment to go and say hello.

"Hi." She said as seductively as she could muster, I mean we were talking about Craig Tucker here, not losing your confidence when you talked to him would be a tremendous accomplishment on anyone's part.

Craig was not impressed. "What do you want?" He asked, his expression never moving.

"Since, you're officially single, I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me some time?" She asked, slightly hesitant.

Craig smirked at her, a cruel cool smirk, one that silently screamed 'right, like I'm a freaking charity all of a sudden'. Angel started to back up, but she wasn't fast enough. "Sorry, I may be newly 'single', but that doesn't mean my standards have dropped."

Angel stiffened and then backed away slowly, "…okay…" she said awkwardly, and then bolted back towards Bebe.

And that was the last time Angel Freeda ever tried to talk to Craig alone.

* * *

Craig sighed, annoyed. He had to have expected that he would start getting confessions, Craig was not clueless as to how much of a stud he was. But he was waiting for Tweek, whom he was going to try and convince to let him fuck. He didn't need that little sophomore getting in the way of his mental preparation. _Hey Tweek, fuck buddy-o-pal. What do you say to trying out this whole arrangement back at my house, say like_ right _now?_ Craig shook his head, disgusted at himself. He knew he could be more seductive than that, but Tweek didn't know him as the mysterious and brooding handsome boy, everyone else knew him as. He only knew him as himself. And Craig himself, didn't really have his own natural brand of sexy. He _had_ only just lost his virginity to Tweek literally two days ago. This wasn't going to be easy.

Finally, he spotted Tweek, jittering as always as he headed out of the building. Craig rushed to meet him. (Not run mind you, Craig was too cool to run.) "Hey Tweek!" He said as he caught up to him and grabbed his arm.

The spikey blond nearly jumped three feet. "Don't do that, Craig, I thought you were some kind of kidnapper."

Craig brushed the off the stupid remark, "Hey Tweek um…ah…" Suddenly his willpower was gone.

"What?" Tweek asked, looking a bit impatient, and still a little annoyed. What was up with him today?

Well, it was too late to back out now. "I was wondering if you uh….wanted to come over?"

"Why?" Tweek asked, indignant. Craig's eyes bulged, Tweek was giving major attitude today.

"I don't know dude." Craig said, his own impatience now evident. "To hang out? Play some video games or something…"

"Or something?" Tweek was really gonna make him say it huh? _That little spaz._

"What's your problem dude?" Craig asked.

"I just don't know what you're asking," Tweek innocently replied, putting those surprisingly well tuned acting skills to work. Seriously, if Tweek was as self-conscious as Craig about the way he was perceived, he'd probably make a better Craig than Craig.

Craig huffed. "I wanted to fuck you. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?" Craig's face was fighting with his willpower to turn red.

Tweek smiled, genuinely this time. "Sure Craig, what are fuck-buddies for?" And Tweek started walking towards Craig's house. Craig followed suit, a little unsure if what just happened, had really did just happen.

Okay, so maybe this _was_ going to be easy.

* * *

"Hey." Kenny said to Butters, who was rummaging through his locker.

Butters turned around, his blond hair now in a sexy comb-over haircut. Butters had light aquamarine eyes, an easy smile, and a gullible way about him; which had actually made it really hard for him to trust people throughout the years. He was about Kenny's height, maybe a centimeter shorter, and had inherited his mother's thinner frame. But he still had a good amount of muscle regardless. He got grounded so much that he had taken to doing pushups in his room, to one day stand up to his dad. Of course he still had a long way to go.

"Oh hey Kenny. What can I help you with?" Butters asked. Kenny was one of the few people Butters could trust outright, and Kenny planned to take full advantage.

"Oh Butters it's terrible!" Kenny feigned despair. "I really need help with this problem, but I don't have anyone to turn to."

"Well, gee Kenny. What kind of problem is it?" Butters asked, worried for his friend.

Kenny smiled, but passed it off for one of relief. "It's um a medical problem. My family has a limited amount of insurance, and I'm not sure if it warrants a trip to the doctor."

"And I suppose this medical issue has to do with your penis?" Butters asked narrowing his eyes.

"y-yes." Kenny said, surprised Butters had caught on.

"And you want me to take a look at it for you?" Butters shook his head knowingly. "Tell you, 'gee Kenny, I'm sorry, I have no idea if there's anything wrong with your weiner.' And then you would say something like 'maybe you should touch it' or 'maybe you should taste it and that will give you some kind of idea' right?" Butters raises an eyebrow. Kenny was stunned. That had been the plan. Well kind of. There was also going to be him going down on Butters then kissing him, and having Butters compare that way…But still, fucken-A!

"Yeah. No thanks Kenny." Butters closed his locker.

"Aww." Kenny replied. Kenny was not a good actor like Tweek, and he was an open book, the opposite of Craig.

"I'm sorry Kenny, I'm not gay." Butters replied.

"But you're a virgin right?" Kenny asked, no filter with this guy.

Butters blushed. "That's none of your business."

"I knew it!" Kenny exclaimed. Butters glowered. Kenny backed off a bit. "Look, Butters I get that you're straight." Muttering he added, "Though I'm pretty sure you called yourself bisexual."

Butters heard. "I had no idea what that meant! I was eight!"

Kenny put his hands up in defense. "I know, I know. Look, how about we find someone really hot. A Kim Kardashian type maybe." Kenny and everyone else in the world knew that Butters fancied Kim Kardashian as one of the most beautiful women in the world. "And have a three-way?"

"You just want to see me naked huh?" Butters asked, annoyed.

 _Yes!_ "Yes!" Kenny replied, giving Butters a soul searching gaze with his amazing dark blue eyes.

Butters blushed, and struggled to break the stare. "Sorry Kenny. I really am, but I don't want you to see me naked. Butters walked away stiffly.

 _Aww._ Too bad, Butters would have been a great lay.

 _He doesn't want me to see him naked… Aww!_ Butters was so cute! Kenny only wanted him more.

* * *

Tweek and Craig were standing in Craig's room. They couldn't go to Tweek's house, because his parents would most likely be home; their shop had really weird hours. And Tweek was really enjoying his parents not cooing at him, now that they finally believed that he was straight. It had been really weird, his parents were always throwing money at him, and looking at him like he was about to say something deep and soul-wrenching. All the freaking time! It was way too much pressure man. Way. Too. Much. Pressure.

"So I guess we should get started." Craig said. Tweek nodded.

Suddenly Tweek threw his shirt off, and then rushed at Craig. Taking his shirt off before Craig could do anything about it.

"Uh, okay-"Craig started, before Tweek pushed him onto the bed on his back. "oomf." Craig said, the wind having been rushed out of him past him.

"Agh!" Tweek cried. "Sorry, did I hurt you?"

Craig just breathed a snort. "nah."

Tweek went back to the task at hand. With his nervous energy and always boosted adrenaline, he jumped on the bed too, landing so that he covered Craig. He scooted up a little so that he could get to his mouth, and took Craig's mouth to his, his tongue stroking Craig's in an oh so-surprisingly skilled fashion.

Just as quickly, he scooted down Craig again. He dragged his lips across Craig as he did so. He slowed when he reached Craig's neck, and began sucking. Not long enough to leave a hickey mind you. But long enough for Craig to think he was going to get one.

"Uh Tweek-" Tweek took his lips off of Craig's neck, and placed his finger on Craig's lips. Tweek smiled down at Craig, making him Craig blush. Tweek went back to business. Dragging his lips down the center of Craig's torso and stomach, all the way to his belt.

Tweek looked up at Craig, as he fiddled with the belt. Struggling of course, because this was something that generally required focused and still hands. Things that Tweek did not possess. After a good thirty seconds Craig gently pushed away Tweeks hands, and without breaking eye-contact, unlatched his belt.

Tweek slowly ran his hands down Craig's stomach, and into the hem of Craig's now loosened pants. Craig shivered with the unfamiliar touch.

Tweek got off the bed, and gingerly pulled Craig's underwear and pants to the floor. He got back on the bed again, and straddling Craig's knees, bent down and pressed his mouth against Craig's penis. The position was an awkward and uncomfortable one. Fortunately Craig seemed to see this, and scooted back, giving Tweek more room on the bed to bend over and get to Craig's cock.

Tweek licked it a little at first, the taste was not good at all. Porn had lied. It was bitter and gross. Still, Tweek didn't want Craig to regret his decision to be a fuck buddy. And he'd been really happy when it was Craig who came to him first to ask to fuck. Tweek had spent his computer lab time watching porn on his phone. Not the computers of course. Those were definitely being monitored and Tweek hated being monitored. But he had downloaded a video onto his phone earlier that day, in preparation for whenever he and Craig would try this whole fuck buddy thing out.

Tweek took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He opened his mouth and just went for it. Taking Craig's decent size member into his mouth. He sputtered and gagged.

"Are you okay?" Craig asked looking down.

"I-Im fine!" Tweek said, trying to stop himself from hyperventilating. Oral sex was so dangerous! But he wanted to do this for Craig.

Tweek put his mouth back to work, but this time just sucked the head. His scared sputtering was muffled by Craig's penis, and made a humming sound. Craig moaned with the feeling. Slowly Tweek took more and more into his mouth until he was almost deep throating Craig. Then he just stayed there, still humming-on purpose this time, having seen how much Craig had liked it. Slowly he did what the guys in the video had done. He slowly bobbed his head up and down the shaft of Craig's penis.

Soon Craig started to spasm. Tweek bobbed faster, and Craig came in his mouth. It was gross. So grows. _Ew ew ew ew._ Tweek leapt off the bed, and spat Craig's semen into his trashcan.

* * *

Craig couldn't believe it, Tweek had just given him a blow job. A freaking amazing blowjob at that. When had he learned to do that? Craig was panting on the bed, as Tweek was spitting into his Trashcan.

"That was amazing." Craig said, not bothering to fight the flush of red that was plastered to his face neck and torso.

"I'm glad you liked it."Tweek said, grimacing at the taste in his mouth.

"Is it really that bad?" Craig asked.

Tweek nodded and twitched.

Craig suddenly became aware that he was the only one fully naked. Maybe Tweek wanted to do him? Craig's heart skipped a beat as he remembered how Tweek wanted to save himself for someone special.

"Ok," Tweek said, no longer making a face. "You're turn to do me." Tweek unceremoniously pulled his pants and boxers down and off. He grabbed the bottle of lube from the previous night, and unskillfully stuck some up his ass hole.

Craig felt a bit hurt, but shook it off. He was going to take whatever Tweek was willing to give him, and not complain. They were, after all, only 'fuck-buddies'.

Tweek flipped onto the bed. "Ok tell me what you want me to do." Well since Tweek was willing to follow direction today, for some reason.

"Actually, there was something I wanted to try." Craig said, his voice husky. "First get on your knees." Tweek obliged, getting into doggy position. "Now lay your head flat on the bed, along with your hands." Tweek had to bend his arms at the elbow to get his all the way onto the bed. Causing his ass to spring up into the air.

Tweek started shaking with embarrassment. "Um, Craig?" Tweek asked, suddenly very scared.

Craig just stood by the bed and stared. Tweek looked so fucking hot like that. His ass shaking up in the air for him.

Craig crawled on the bed and stood on his knees, straddling Tweek's quivering knees. His dick was right at Tweek's entrance. _Perfect._ How he was already erect after that life-changing orgasm, he didn't know, but it was probably thanks to Tweek,. The boy really got to him, and his dick.

He slowly entered Tweek's tight entrance. Tweek was blushing and shaking madly. This was most certainly a vulnerable position for him. His face was pressed to the side and he couldn't comfortably look back to see what Craig was doing.

Craig felt Tweek tense at the pain. His body once again vibrating around Craig's penis. _Oh Tweek_. Craig gasped. "You feel so fucking good dude." Craig sighed/ groaned through the lovely pressure. He started to move slowly in and out poking his head at different spots until finally, Tweek gasped, and spasmed more forcefully. Craig had found Tweek's spot once again. Craig, now armed with a target began to go in and out much quicker now, building up speed, and hitting Tweek's spot again and again and again. Tweek started to cry out. Which was good because Craig was very close to coming himself.

Craig didn't want to come first. He took his dick out, and as Tweek moaned and bucked back in desperate protest, Craig dropped his mouth to Tweek's hole and started to lap up much of Craig's precum and lubricant. Tweek really started to spasm at this new feeling. Craig teased him with his tongue. Getting so close to Tweek's spot but not quite hitting it. Tweek was practically wiggling his way into Craig's mouth when Craig finally pulled back, and positioned his penis once again at Tweek's entrance.

He thrust in suddenly, and Tweek gasped as Craig hit the spot. Craig was going to cum. He pulled out again and then thrust all the way, nearly balls deep into Tweek, making him scream. Oh that threw Craig over the edge, he took his penis out and thrust all the way in, one more time, and came as Tweek cried out, and began to spasm and shake uncontrollably for a few moments around Craig's now flaccid penis.

Craig was nearly hyperventilating. He carefully helped Tweek flatten out onto his stomach. And then lifted himself slowly out of Tweek. He rolled onto his side, and Tweek rolled onto his so that they faced each other.

"We came at the same time" Tweek sighed, his constantly trembling body completely still for once. "Cool."

Craig loosely traced Tweek's face with his fingers. "Yeah…"

* * *

 **Author's Tidbit: Ugh! Longest chapter yet. Can you believe that everything except the Kenny and Butters scene was supposed to be in chapter 3? Totally messing with my outline. But I get to 1800 words, and I'm like "I'm done, I can't do it anymore." Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter, personally I like it a lot better than chapter 3, but I will say my grammar is just as terrible as ever, so thank you for trudging through it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry this took so long, guys! It's finals week, and I've been busy avoiding their dark looming shadow. Any who I'll probably be posting a lot more frequently after this week, since it's winter break. Stay tuned!**

It was 6 AM when Tweek opened up the family run Harbucks. He hated getting up early, especially when he had been able to fall asleep the night prior. The air was cold with the morning chill, and Tweek was still wearing a thin button up shirt. He was shaking too much to ever really feel cold.

There was a line forming outside of his store. This was normal, as a lot of people liked to get coffee before their shifts, and Harbucks was the only coffee shop in town. When he opened the door they rushed in, and immediately started complaining.

Tweek was all by himself for this morning's rush. He desperately wished his parents would hire more help. Tweek only liked to drink coffee, not serve it. He was always spilling everywhere, and people yelled at him for it.

Tweek handed Mr. Garrison, his fourth and third grade teacher his pumpkin spice latte. His shaking hand caused the hot beverage to fly everywhere, the counter, Mr. Garrison's shirt and hand, and three of the people in line behind him. Mr. Garrison screamed.

"Fucking dildos, Tweek!" Garrison screamed. "Can't you just stop seizing for one second?"

Tweek's mother came in to check on Tweek, just as the line was throwing another fit that Tweek was forced to face on the regular.

"S-sorry!" Tweek said, backing against the corner. He sunk down to the floor, and started rocking back and forth, jittering all the while. It wasn't fair. Why did his parents make him do all this by himself? It was way too much pressure.

Mrs. Tweak walked into the coffee area. Those still in line were complaining about having to get to work.

"Oh good _you're_ here!" Mr. Garrison said. "Can't you hire someone else to help your failure of a son serve us drinks? Some of us are trying not to get third degree burns."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Tweek why didn't you tell us you were so overworked?" Mrs. Tweak asked her son, who was still hiding under the expresso machine.

 _I told you a hundred times! You never listen to me!_ Tweek got up, and dropped his apron dramatically. He stormed out of the shop.

* * *

Red took a deep breath. _You can do this._

Man! She had been crushing on Tweek for like three years now. Tweek was so hot, like Dylan O'Brien but blonde, and green eyed. She remembered the day she had gone into the Hardbacks for a Frappuccino with Nicole. She had spilt the drink all over him, and he hadn't even yelled at her. She would later find out that that was likely because he was a huge klutz who usually did the same to himself and to his customers, but that was irrelevant. He had rushed to get some towels and had made her feel like she had no need to be embarrassed. Usually a waiter or a barista would at least grit their teeth and force a smile while silently cursing her out if she pulled something like that. But not Tweek. Instead he had looked at her with his beautiful green eyes and laughed about how he was happy it wasn't him who had spilt on her. She had been smitten ever since.

He was with Craig, however, so she never could do anything about it. She had always known that Craig and Tweek weren't really a couple. Couple's getting positive attention never claimed they weren't together unless they really weren't together. You know? The town was just too moronic to get that.

But now that they were officially not a couple, Red could finally ask Tweek out, or flirt her way into having him ask her out. If he was old fashioned like that. It was so unfair that girls had to play this guessing game on how to approach guys. Guys could be way more direct without having to worry about social repercussions. She hated repercussions. Red was as wild as her hair, which gave her, her nickname. But she still felt self-conscious as any other teenager.

Red closed her locker and turned to face Tweek's back, across the hall. She ran a hand through her hair, and bit her lip, just waiting for Tweek to turn around and notice her oh-so-subconscious sexy pose, as voted and approved by her friends of course.

To her credit, Red was very attractive. Dark brown eyes with a golden rim, full lips, and black thick eyelashes. Yes she was on the skinnier side, but Tweek wasn't the broadest boy around, and she felt that this only meant they suited each-other more.

Finally Tweek turned around. Red had timed it perfectly. Tweek was always fidgeting with locker in the morning for approximately five minutes, so that he could finish his coffee before Craig caught him. Craig didn't approve of his caffeine addiction, it was a well-known fact around South Park High. Red didn't think it was such a problem. Everyone had their vices. She had seen Craig smoke behind the school parking lot, he had no right to judge.

* * *

Craig walked into the hall. He saw Tweek finishing his last cup of coffee. He decided not to berate him for it. Ever since he realized his feelings for the spaz, pointing out Tweek's issues had become really difficult for him. Especially because Craig prided himself on calling people out on their bullshit. Craig felt really awkward whenever he was around Tweek, and had to catch himself from laughing at everything he said. Dude. He was becoming an awkward girl on some teen show. The very thought disgusted him.

He looked away, trying to clear his mind of his personal embarrassment. And saw Red, making the moves on Tweek.

Oh, he knew that look. Many a girl had flashed him that look, and admittedly a few boys as well. The want, the need, the overwhelming lust.

And Tweek, he saw, was looking at her, and-blushing! Oh no. No no no. Just because Craig had resolved himself to not push for any more than was given him, didn't mean other people could go after Tweak. He was his Tweak, after-all!

Wendy bumped into him from behind. She had been texting.

"Oh, sorry Craig." Wendy said. Craig didn't respond. He just stared at the silent exchange unraveling before him. "You, okay?"

Craig snapped out of it. "Yeah, I'm fine." He said, monotone as always.

"Hey, what's up with Red and Tweek?" He asked Wendy, nonchalantly.

"Oh you can feel it too?" Wendy asked, excited.

"Feel what?" Craig asked.

"The sexual tension!" Wendy exclaimed. Okay, since when was Wendy that excited about other people's relationships? She was usually one of the few sensible ones. "Red has had a crush on Tweek for the longest time, and now she's finally gonna ball-up and ask him out!" Wendy sighed. "It must have been hard on you guys, having to pretend to be gay for the town's sake. Don't think we don't appreciate it." Wendy patted Craig on the back and then skipped over to Stan, and started making out with him.

Craig took a deep breath, trying to keep the surge of emotion from revealing itself. He just had to figure out a way to keep Tweek away from Red.

* * *

Red was really freaking Tweek out. Was she going to eat her lip or something? Her teeth had been on that thing for the past thirty seconds. He wondered if he should go ask her if anything was wrong, sometimes when he was really anxious he would bite his lip harder and harder, until one time he nearly got all the way through it, and had to get stitches. She was looking right at him too. But it wasn't a cry for help, like the intensity of the stare would suggest, instead it looked like she wanted to eat him. Like her lips whom she was alternating between slightly licking and nibbling were his flesh.

Tweek did not like the idea of a cannibal on the loose in the school. So when Craig interrupted their weird exchange, he was grateful.

"Tweek, the bell's going to ring soon, and you told me you'd let me copy your homework" Craig said, making a louder than necessary sound as he leaned against the locker next to him.

"What?! You didn't do your homework?! You never asked me to let you copy it! I would have written it neater, ah, I don't want you to have to read through my handwriting!" He didn't have sympathy for his teachers if they didn't want to read chicken scratch, they shouldn't give out assignments.

Red seemed to have lost interest in eating him, as she had walked away. Thank goodness! Tweek was not ready to be eaten. What if he didn't even taste good? How embarrassing would that be? To be killed to be eaten and then not even be eaten, because you don't taste good enough to be eaten? What a waste! What if they laughed at how gross he tasted?!

"Tweek? Tweek!" Craig shook him. "I was just kidding, I already did the homework."

* * *

Okay maybe not all of it, but Kenny would probably let him copy off of him. He'd have to sit through a few inappropriate remarks, but other than that it would be painless. Kenny was pretty smart for skipping class all the time.

He and Tweek walked to their first period. Kenny was actually on time to class for once. His hoody was down, and he was giving an angelically innocent smile to everyone who walked through the door after him. Which probably meant he was up to something.

"Hey Kenny," Craig whispered so Tweek couldn't hear him. "Can I copy off you? I didn't do the homework last night."

Kenny, put the length of his finger against his teeth suggestively. "I suppose, what will you give me for it?"

"I won't bash your face in?" Craig suggested.

Kenny looked up at him with a dangerous gleam in his eye. "I'd like to see you try." He didn't say it venomously, but Craig knew that Kenny was not someone to take up on an offer for a fight.

Craig sighed. "Please?"

"Tell you what. I do you this favor, and later you pay me back somehow."

Craig didn't like where this was going. "How?"

"Nothing that doesn't warrant passing this class." Craig's C-average was not exactly a secret. Craig only cared about things he actually cared about. You couldn't get him to be interested in anything. You could only hope he didn't get bored with you and walk away without notice.

"Fine, but nothing weird." Craig said. Kenny smiled, easily, as usual.

He pulled out his homework and handed it to Craig, who took it and proceeded to his seat in the back.

* * *

Kenny made a note of Craig's most recent promise. What would he have him do? Hmmm. Naked pictures were always nice, but Craig wasn't likely to go for that, plus Kenny could always 'accidentally' catch a glimpse in the boy's locker room. He'd seen just about everyone naked…except for Butters. He was always changing in the bathroom. And he wore a robe out of the stalled showers. Butters…

Kenny was getting hard. He looked back to where Butters was sitting. He winked at him. Butters blushed and turned his head away furiously. He was so cute! Kenny really wanted to see what he looked like naked. Hidden regions of a person's body were treasures, especially those belonging to shy people. Secrets that only a few select of people were allowed to see. He was going to uncover all of Butters'.

A tap to the shoulder pulled Kenny's attention back to the front. He was surprised to find that the tapper was not an overly irate teacher, but a fidgeting Red. Ah Red, someone else he hadn't tasted –metaphorically and physically. But that was because when he'd offered she had told him that she liked someone else. Kenny's libido wasn't ego based. He didn't sleep with everyone because he wanted the conquest, more that he wanted to see rare emotions and mysterious kinks you could only see in the sack. He didn't bother with people interested with someone else, he'd never see those emotions because they were reserving them for someone else. Too boring.

"What can I help you with?" Kenny asked. Eyeing Red up and down appreciatively. Girl would look good in a super suit. But alas, she was not the one to play that game with.

Red took a deep breath, obviously nervous. "Can I switch seats with you?" she asked.

Well this was surprising, "I'd love to Red, but you know that Ms. Definitelyonsmack won't approve". Her real name was Licksupcrack, but the students liked to make fun of her.

"I know, but I've got a plan for that, can we at least try? Please?" Now Kenny would already love to sit in the back, but Red seemed pretty desperate.

"What will you give me?"

"What do you want?" Red asked.

Hmm, two favors owed already and it wasn't even 8:00 AM yet. "I'll keep you posted."

"I told you I'm not interested in having sex with you." Red said.

Kenny mocked offense. "I had no such thing in mind."

Red huffed out a breath in relief. "Okay, whatever."

Kenny got out of his chair, gathered his things, and whispered, "pleasure doing business with you."

He proceeded to the Red's usual seat in the middle, coincidentally next where Butters was sitting. Today, the universe was most certainly on Kenny's side.

* * *

Ms. Licksupcrack came into the classroom, and immediately started staring daggers at the wrongly seated Kenny.

"Mr. McCormick, care to share why you are not in your seat." She asked.

It was Red who answered. "I'm sorry Ms. Licksupcrack. It's just that I lost my contacts and I want to be able to see the board." Craig looked up at the voice. Why was she in Kenny's seat? Wait…

The teacher looked at Red's innocent expression, and let out an annoyed grunt. "Fine, but Kenny if I catch you acting up, we're dragging another seat up here, you hear me?"

"Yes ma'am." Kenny replied, happily.

Craig watched as the teacher turned to the board, and Red leaned over to Tweek and whispered something in his ear.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Hello! Thank you for being so patient, with me! Finals are finally over hurray! Any who, you may be wondering why it took so long to get to the Kyman stuff. Well I accidentally read a very upsetting kyman-ish fan fiction that was unfinished, and was traumatized for a few weeks. But I'm getting better!**

 **So yeah, sorry about that... I promise I'm starting to get to the good stuff!**

Craig snapped his mechanical pencil in half, gaining him a few surprised and concerned looks from his classmates.

What the fuck was she whispering to him?! First the shameless flirting, and now she was sitting next to him. Didn't they know that Tweek was _his_? Wait. Technically they weren't actually a 'couple' anymore, it wasn't like she was doing anything as morally repulsive as Craig was imagining. Still… he wasn't just going to hand over Tweek to that scarlet harlot.

To be fair, Craig was not a slut shamer, nor did he usually have any ill will towards pda. In fact, Craig was a bit of a show boater, himself. He often 'forgot' to put his shirt back on after P.E, and would flash his (mind you very fake) smile to people he thought he could gain something from. Tweek would chastise him for it. Saying he was just trying to take advantage of people. And Craig might have been. After all Craig didn't care about anything or _anyone_ unless he cared about them. He couldn't be made to feel bad for tempting some of his teachers for passing grades. It wasn't like he was actually doing anything wrong. But there were two sides to caring. And right now, Craig cared a whole lot about a certain red-headed girl.

He wanted her gone. Not dead, but if that were an option he wouldn't rule it out. You see, people who care about only a few things tend to be very possessive about those things that they do care about. They make up their whole world. Craig didn't like his things being threatened. You couldn't get him to miss his favorite TV show, you couldn't insult his Guinea pigs, and you most certainly couldn't try and poach on his Tweek.

He finally noticed the odd stares, took a deep breath, and regained his composer. He sneered at those who deigned to look at him and gifted them the presence of his middle finger, as if to say they were being obvious in checking him out. And suddenly everyone around him was turning their face away in embarrassment. The tables effectively turned.

"Hello there beautiful." Kenny said to Butters leaning back in Red's-now his-chair.

"No." Butters simply responded.

"No hello? Or no beautiful? Because Butters, No is not an appropriate remark to a greeting, and denying your beauty would be a lie, you aren't a liar are you?"

 _Aww hamburgers!_ Butters had really been hoping that his rejecting Kenny the other day had been the end of it.

"Look Kenny, you're really starting to make me feel uncomfortable."

Eric, who was sitting behind them, groaned. Butters turned to see Kyle whack him on the side of the head. Kenny's hand sliding down Butters' leg caused his attention to turn back to him.

"Cut it out!" Butters called out. The whole class turned to stare at him. Kenny had lifted his hands away innocently.

"Mr. Stotch, Is there something you want to share with the class?" Mrs. Licksupcrack asked, annoyed as always.

"No ma'am!" Butters quickly replied, glowing a bright red. Kenny Snickered.

* * *

"What did you do that for?" Eric asked Kyle. His head aching slightly.

"Where the hell were you for the last few days?" Kyle asked, ignoring the question.

"Aww did you miss me? You know, hitting someone for that, could be considered domestic abuse Kyle."

Kyle ignored him yet again. "Don't tell me you tried to fucking rig an election or start a fake apocalypse _again_ or something."

Eric rolled his eyes. Kyle was such a nosey little Jew. "No, Keule. I did no such thing, now would you mind leaving me alone? I am trying to learn."

Eric turned to look at the bored. Not really looking of course, what did he care about critical analysis of poetry? It was all just a bunch of strewn out BS anyway. But he couldn't deal with Kyle today, or maybe ever again for that matter. _Stupid Craig and Tweek._ It was because of them that being gay was faggy again.

Eric had a secret. HA very big, deep, ball-licking secret. He liked Kyle. He like-liked Kyle. It took all his energy just to not get Cupid Me involved. Wouldn't that little troll just love the fact that Eric Cartman the self-proclaimed "not a homo-sexual" was falling in slow cosby for his worst enemy. A _dude_.

Could you blame him? Kyle had curly red hair, that he wore cut close to his head, now that he no longer wore hats to cover it up. It had also blonded out some, as well, with all the new exposure to sunlight. He was one of the few ginger boys who could pull off being ginger. His eyes were a piercing green, his nose was fucking perfect and his lips were thin, but beautifully sculpted. He had a lean but hard body –from all that basketball. He was a 5"9 pretty boy. Eric was pretty sure he had been approached for modelling jobs, but ever since the Leslie incident, Kyle had had a hard time trusting anything to do with advertisement.

But it was not to be. Now that Craig and Tweek just up and decided to not be gay anymore, their poster-couple love was not going to make South Park accepting anymore. He knew this town. They'd just pretend shit never went down in the first place. No, Barbara Streisand was never a fucking robot, no Kenny never died! It was the most annoying idiotic thing the town did. And most of what South Park did was stupid.

Eric had to squash these feelings so that he wouldn't be seen as lame. Eric was bi, so he wasn't that torn up about the prospect. However he had had this crush for quite a while now, and Kyle was going to be difficult to relieve from his mind.

* * *

"I hope you don't mind me being so close to you." Red had whispered in Tweek's ear. Out of polite obligation he had shaken his head, but in reality Tweek did mind. He minded very much. This girl (and possibly cannibal) was invading his personal space. Kenny had always given him plenty of breathing room, lounging about as he did. But Red, ugh! All throughout class she had been inching herself closer and closer to Tweek. Waving her pretty hair in his face.

Okay, it did smell nice, but that didn't mean he wanted to smell it, and when it brushed his cheek, he had thought for a moment that he was being attacked by some foreign weapon, bent on destroying him.

The bell finally rang, and Tweek ran out of the classroom, to the field. Second period was only a few minutes away, but Tweek was scared Red was going to follow him. Craig came chasing after him.

"Hey what was all that about?" Craig asked, expressionless as always, but Tweek could tell there was something off.

"I-I just wanted to get out of there!" Tweek said, embarrassed about his delusions about Red. He didn't want to further irritate Craig with his nonsense. Craig was scary when he was mad.

"You know we have class in like 2 minutes right?" Craig asked. "I thought you were going to have some kind of melt down or something." Oh Craig, always worrying about Tweek's wellbeing. Tweek didn't deserve him.

"No. I'm sorry." Tweek said, jittering but doing his best to calm down. "I guess I just ran the wrong way. _Ngh._ Oops."

Craig rolled his eyes. Obviously done with Tweek's nonsense. "Let's get back to class, neither of us can stand to have another tardy." When Tweek _did_ have his mid class meltdowns, it tended to result in the _both_ of them being late.

Tweek nodded, and let Craig lead him back to class. Not holding hands, but their hands did accidentally brush against each other a few times, as if they had minds of their own, and missed each other's embrace.

Kenny got his free lunch at the cafeteria – he was poor enough to qualify—and went to sit with Butters. This wasn't irregular though, he usually sat with Butters Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Wendy, and sometimes Clyde, Craig, Bebe, Token, and Tweek. Today they were all there, sitting at their usual table.

Kenny's usual seat across from Butters was waiting for him, Butters blushed when he realized this mistake. Oh Kenny wanted to see him blush in a whole new way. Just the thought of it….

* * *

He quickly took a seat to hide a secret that was popping up, from view.

"Can you stop moping, Cartman?!" Kyle asked. "All I asked was whether you guys wanted to come over Friday for a sleepover, since my parents are gone. You don't have to come if you don't want to." Eric grumbled.

"Well if you're taking all the guys to Jew out at your house, who am I supposed to hang out with over the weekend. So lame." Cartman said.

"You know what, you're uninvited." Kyle said, pissed off easily as usual. He was so cute when he was pouting. Kenny wondered when those two would give up and just screw already. That was a reason he never approached either of them for you know-what. The sexual tension between them had thickened the air since they were fifteen.

"Good! I didn't want to go to your gay little slumber party anyway." Cartman got up, and slammed his lunch, tray and all into the trash, gaining irritated looks from some of the lunch ladies.

"That's great, because you can't!" Kyle called after him, then glared at his food. Kenny chuckled. _If you hate him so much, then why did you invite him in the first place?_

"What'ya laughing at Kenny?" Stan asked. Wendy was sitting on his lap, talking to Bebe about boobs or the dwindling economy or something.

"Oh nothing." Kenny said, smiling at Butters, who looked away immediately.

"What's wrong with Butters?" Token asked.

"What isn't wrong with Butters?" Stan asked. The whole table laughed. Butters was still the butt of the joke, even now, when they were all technically adults.

"Hey fellas! That's not nice-!" Butters tried to defend himself. Then he felt Kenny's foot making circles around his inner thigh. He jumped up, and yelped, startled.

"You okay dude?" Kyle asked. Butters looked around horrified, then sat back down his face a tomato, but Kenny bet he could make it even redder.

"I'm fine, thanks. Thought there was something in my shoe." Butters mumbled.

Tweek was sleeping on Craig's shoulder, having accidentally fallen on it in the midst of dreaming. Craig didn't bother moving it, and no one thought anything of it. Tweek never got enough sleep, they weren't going to deprive the poor little spaz of his deserved rest.

* * *

Craig's naked body was sweating beautifully above Tweek. He went down to bite down on Tweek's shoulder, causing Tweek to scream out. Tweek himself was still wearing his briefs. Craig teased his cock through the thin fabric with one hand, while balancing himself inches above Tweek with his other hand. Craig's mouth trailed up and down the side of Tweek's neck, nipping at the ear. Tweek struggled to get out of the pleasurable but ticklish position, and Craig ignored him.

Craig grabbed Tweek's member through his underwear, making Tweek yelp. Finally, Craig released Tweek, but only long enough to pull off Tweek's underwear. He flipped Tweek up so that his knees were hanging over Craig's shoulders. Tweek could feel Craig's tongue prodding at his opening. He squirmed, and pleaded, as Craig slowly and methodically, licked around the area, only tapping the hole with his tongue every now and again. Finally Craig stuck his whole tongue in, and prodded, knowing exactly where to go to make Tweek throw his head back in shameful excitement.

"Put it in, please, put it in!" Tweek begged. Humility long lost.

"Okay, Tweek." Craig breathed, his mouth only an inch away from Tweek's entrance, making it buzz.

Tweek twitched wildly, while Craig held him down to lube his own dick up. Tweek thought he was prepared enough, but knew Craig wouldn't risk hurting him, still he whined. "Please, Craig." Craig chuckled in that annoyingly cocky way, and then slowly planted himself between Tweek's legs, this time letting them fall to the ground, so that Tweek himself had to wrap his legs around Craig's waist in a position most comfortable for him.

Craig dove in without warning then, and Tweek cried out with the sudden pain and immense pleasure of suddenly being filled up. Craig leaned down to kiss him, as he began rock back and forth hitting Tweek's prostate. When did Craig get so good at finding it?

Craig's finger's traced circles on Tweek's body. "You're so fucking beautiful." Craig said marveling down at Tweek's squirming body.

"Shut up". Tweek said, embarrassed but happy. Craig started to pick up the pace.

"Oh Tweek!" He called, Tweek could tell Craig was close, and with the heightened tempo, so was Tweek.

Craig planted his mouth on Tweek's cock. Tweek was really on the edge now!

"Oh Craig!"

"Tweek! Tweek! Tweek!" The rhythm had reached new levels, Tweek could tell he was about to see stars!

"Tweeeeek!" Craig shook him awake. They were in the cafeteria. Tweek blinked to find all of his friends staring at him.

"Fuck, dude, were you in like level five sleep or something?" Stan asked. Tweek rarely got to level two sleep, four being the deepest.

"We almost called in the nurse." Clyde said, shaking his head. "We've been trying to get you up for the last few minutes."

"Few minutes!" Tweek cried. "You waited that long without calling the nurse?! I could have died!

"You were still breathing." Kenny shrugged.

Tweek looked up at Craig, his accusing expression quickly turning to one of deep chagrin. "W-we got to get to class!"

Tweek jumped up and ran out of the cafeteria. _What was that?! Why did I-In the middle of lunch! What if they heard?!Ngh-ugh-nggghhh!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note:** **Ugh! This chapter is so long! And I didn't even do everything on the outline! Oh well that stuff will have to go in other chapters. I'm finally set up for the scene that started this whole story in my head. Anyway I'm looking forward to it, but also scared to write it.**

 **Also thanks for the feedback, btw, it really guilts- I mean _motivates_ \- me into writing, XD.**

* * *

Tweek awoke to the feeling of a dried fluid in his boxers. Mind in-cased in fear, he slowly pulled down his pants, to see if the gnomes had done something terrible to him. Like smear peanut butter on his junk, to get a dog to come and bite it off. The gnomes weren't usually violent, but Tweek felt that this was a completely plausible occurrence. Anyone could snap at any given time. No one was safe, no place was safe, there was never assurance for Tweek.

Slowly he peaked at what he had uncovered. There beneath the sheets was not a peanut surprise, but cum, sticky, hardened. Tweek shrieked, then covered his mouth quickly, not wanting to wake his parents up in the other room.

Tweek thought back to the dreams he had been having. He had been playing with dogs, and Craig had come with his camera to film a TV show-

Tweek gasped. His member throbbed. He needed to stop thinking about Craig. _Gyah! Grandma! Barbara Streisand! Decaf!_ That did it. Tweek sighed in relief, then quickly threw his clothes in his hamper to clean later. He was always spilling things, his parents had refused to do his laundry long ago.

He grabbed some sheets out of the hallway cabinet, and brought them back to his room. Shakily he did his best to make his bed. It looked slightly worse than it had. But it was clean now.

Tweek ran into the shower, scrubbing at the sticky substance before the water was even warm. This was the seventh time he had had a wet dream about Craig, and now he was even reaching climax from the hallucinations. He had to stay away from Craig, or else he would never gain control over his body again.

* * *

Craig passed by the Tweak run Harbucks on his way to school. He tended to walk to school. He had a car, but to him this counted as leg day, and Craig was very dedicated to his sexy body. His father was one of the fattest people in town, and though he had gained his height from him, Craig wasn't appreciative of all his genetics. Craig would never let himself go like that. He was far too vain.

He knew Tweek would have already left for school even if he had a morning shift. Being late, like everything else, made that spaz nervous. So he never went in, however today a sign in the window caught his eye.

HELP WANTED.

Craig ran in and grabbed an application from a very cheerful Mrs. Tweak.

Craig practically ran the rest of the way to school. Here it was, the perfect opportunity to spend more time with Tweek. To keep all of Tweek's mind encompassed around him, so there wouldn't be any room for Red, or any other person.

* * *

He saw Tweek sipping his coffee beside his locker. Craig didn't even bother to chew him out for it, he just ran up to him, and shoved the application in his face.

Tweek shrieked, probably startled. He was always startled. Craig was too excited to care. "Why didn't you tell me about this?!"

Tweek looked at the paper and winced. "I must h-have uh f-forgot." He explained.

Craig laughed. "Okay, well put in a good word for me okay?! You know I've been looking for a way to earn some cash, and this way I won't have to sell myself on the street."

"What?!" Tweek yelled. "Why didn't you tell me things were that bad?!"

Craig realized his mistake. "Just kidding! _Sheesh_. Come on Tweek, do I look that destitute?" Craig gestured to himself.

Tweek shook his head relieved. "Still put in a good word for me okay." Craig leaned into Tweek, capturing his gaze.

Tweek shook, and looked away. "Yeah…sure." Craig ruffled his hair.

Red walked past, moving her skinny body suggestively. Tweek backed up against the locker. When Red was out of earshot, Craig asked, "What's up with you and Red?"

"Um…" Tweek's face reddened. "I-I don't know, but I think she might be a cannibal and might be trying to eat me. _Ngh_. I don't know what to do!"

Craig bursted out laughing. He had been worried about nothing. Of course Tweek wouldn't understand that Red was trying to flirt with him. Now he could be a good person and explain to Tweek what was actually going on, but he didn't want to give Red the benefit.

* * *

 _Shit shit shit!_ Tweek banged his head against his fists. He had escaped to the boys' restroom, and was currently hiding in a stall. Letting his now erect member deflate in private. His parents couldn't hire Craig! He'd always be hard, and on constant guard so that he didn't cum. That would be WAY too much pressure. He had to figure a way out.

He exited the restroom, hiding behind the restroom hallway's corner, so that he could check the perimeter for Craig without being spotted.

"What are we hiding from?" Red asked scanning alongside him. Tweek jumped a little. _When did she get there?_ At some point Red had joined him, mimicking his movements. The two of them probably looked rather silly.

"Um no one!" Tweek cried. He started to run away, but then thought of something and headed back.

"Um you haven't been trying to eat me, have you?" Tweek asked, anxious.

Red blushed. "What?!"

"Sorry, it's just that you've been looking at me weirdly lately, and it's been freaking me out, dude."

"Oh." Red's blush deepened. "That's because-Anyway I'm not trying to eat you." She stammered.

Tweek sighed a loud sigh of relief. Red laughed. "You're so weird Tweek." She pushed his shoulder playfully.

"Sorry." Tweek apologized, feeling bad he that he had judged her to be a cannibal.

"Don't be." Red grinned at him, and Tweek smiled back. Red was so nice.

* * *

Kenny felt down. Butters had been ignoring him all day, it was lunchtime, and he wouldn't even sit by him. Butters had seen Kenny sitting, and had changed direction immediately to go sit with Bradly and Kevin.

Kenny didn't like to be ignored. He was an attention whore. And okay, a regular whore too, but he didn't charge. Kenny was a pretty well-built guy, his secret escapades as a caped crusader kept him in shape. He could easily threaten his way to Butters. But Kenny wasn't that kind of person, and Butters became friggin Professor Chaos when he was upset, and Kenny didn't want to have to fight him. They both knew each other's identities of course, everyone but the adults knew who they were. But both of them still had enough anonymity to continue their super escapades, without being arrested.

Kenny decided to try the direct approach. "Hey Butters." Kenny said to Butters.

Butters didn't respond. Bradly and Kevin stared at the transaction.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." Still no answer. "Aww come on Butters. Don't be mad at me. I don't know what I did wrong."

Butters gave out a cute little "hmph," and continued to eat his ham sandwich. Kenny started to sulk. He didn't walk away though, just stood behind the sitting Butters, drowning in agony.

"Maybe you should hear him out." Kevin said.

"Kevin, I'm sorry but you are n-not involved with this." Butters said, looking at Kevin, but still not regarding Kenny.

"He looks sorry, dude." Bradly added.

Kenny could see that Butters was starting to break. He was fighting the urge to look at Kenny's sorry face. Well 'sorry' face anyway. Kenny knew exactly what Butters was upset about, and honestly didn't feel apologetic about it at all. He regretted nothing!

* * *

Butters fidgeted for a good two minutes, before finally giving in and looking at Kenny's sad puppy face. His heart clenched, poor Kenny must be feeling so bad.

"Please Butters?" Kenny asked, all sincerity.

Butters sighed and nodded. Kenny was his bestest friend, he had to at least let him explain himself.

They walked to the school yard. Far less people were there, as the chill kept the students inside.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Butters asked, still mad.

"I just wanted to know why you're mad at me." Kenny said. Was this guy serious?

"Y-you've been sexually harassing me for the last week!" Butters exclaimed. "An I nearly got detention."

"What's wrong with detention? I'm there all the time." Kenny winked and Butters groaned, he clearly wasn't getting the point.

"I'll get grounded!" Butters cried, enraged. Everyone knew how easily Butters found himself in trouble, why was Kenny acting so dumb?! Was this a trick? Cause if it was, boy howdy—

"What's wrong with being grounded?" Kenny asked, his tone reaching a more seductive level this time. Butters shuddered. This was a trick! "All alone in your room. The doors locked. Mm, I'm getting hard just thinking about the trouble you could get yourself into all on your own." He leaned closer to Butters.

Butters stepped back, annoyed. Leave it to Kenny to make being grounded, sexual. "I told you to stop it!" Butters said, glaring. Butters rarely glared. He was such a happy go lucky guy.

The effect was obvious. Kenny actually backed off. He took a step back, and changed his tone to that of one more conversational. "I-I'm sorry Butters." Kenny sighed. "I went too far this time, huh?"

Butters nodded. "You bet you did."

"You're right. I shouldn't have done that. I really am sorry Butters, can you forgive me?"

There he went again, tugging at Butters' heartstrings. "Ah shucks Kenny, course I can."

Kenny smiled. Butters always loved his smile, it was so easy and real. Too many people in South Park had only fake smiles to share with the world. "Thanks Butters! And to make it up to you, how 'bout I take you to Bennigans this Friday?"

"Bennigans!" Butters loved that place.

"Yeah, my treat!" Kenny said.

* * *

Craig sat down by Tweek at the lunch table. Tweek immediately squealed about having to go do something and got up and dashed out of the cafeteria, leaving a bewildered Craig, and an intrigued group of friends.

"Did he say what it was he had to do?" Craig asked the table. Kyle only shook his head.

"That's weird…"Craig murmured. Usually Tweek would have a mini panic attack before he ran out. Said panic attack would explain to everyone what was going on in his spazzy little mind. Maybe he was out of underwear or something? Maybe he felt bad that Craig was always bringing him underwear and didn't want to bother him with it? Craig didn't know. Tweek had been acting weird all day.

Well, if it was underwear, Craig should go get Tweek squared before gym next period. He got up without saying anything, and left.

"Can I finish your lunch?!" Cartman called after him. Craig turned around and briefly flipped him the bird. Taking that as an affirmative, Cartman began to chow down on Craig's sandwich.

Craig wasn't all that hungry anyway, he was too excited about the prospect about being able to work with Tweek, to eat.

He found Tweek hyperventilating outside the arts room. No one ever ate there for lunch-the art teacher would kill them-so it was usually deserted during the break.

"Hey Tweek, you okay?" Craig asked. Leaning against the classroom door trying his best to look cool while holding no expression.

"Y-yeah! Why wouldn't I be?!" Tweek asked, alarmed.

Craig grit his teeth and ran his hand through his hair, a habit that calmed him down, and made him look cool (or at least he thought so). Tweek was being difficult _again_. "Well you just ran out of the lunchroom for no reason."

"Oh that…." Craig waited for Tweek to finish, when he didn't, Craig continued.

"Did you need any underwear?" Tweek blushed and looked up at him. Man, he was cute.

"N-no. The gnomes have been keeping their end of the bargain.

Huh. So it wasn't the gnomes, or lack of underwear. "Is there anything else bothering you?" Tweek shook his head so fast, he probably gave himself a headache.

"No no not at all, why would there be?!" Tweek jumped. He looked like he wanted to run away. He was definitely hiding something.

Craig tried to steer the conversation to a lighter topic. "Hey so to celebrate my impending occupation, why don't you come over to my house tonight? My parents will be going to my sister's dance recital."

Tweek looked like a deer caught in headlights. What the hell was up with him today? "I'm not sure if that's-I mean I can-I mean I'm not sure if I can…"

"Aww come on!" Craig was getting desperate, he felt like Tweek was drawing away from him. Tweek was never this distant. He leaned down and whispered into Tweek's ear, "how 'bout I let you do me, tonight?"

Tweek shuddered at the contact, then jumped away from Craig. "N-no!" He practically screamed, and ran away.

 _What the fuck?!_ Tweek was being so freaking weird today. Wait. He thought back to what Tweek had sad about being on top. 'I'm saving myself for someone special'. _Someone special._ Of course…Craig wasn't…someone special….He was just…a fuck buddy.

Craig's heart clenched in his chest. Maybe Tweek had actually fallen for someone. Someone who wasn't him.

* * *

Stan and Kyle sat at a table in the library. Kyle was helping him with his homework. Stan didn't understand half of what his teachers were saying. He had deliberately stopped paying close attention to his elders years ago, after all the stupid shit he had witnessed them doing.

"And then Wendy was all like Clyde took Bebe to the new Nicholas Sparks movie, why won't you take me?"

"Um Stan, I feel ya bud, I really do, but what does this have to do with trigonometry?

"Shit, you're right! Sorry I got distracted." Stan had been getting distracted a lot lately, that it was their last year in school together had dawned on him recently, and lately the idea of change had become overwhelming. He was scared everything was going to start looking like shit again. His kidney was probably unhealthy enough with the daily shots of vodka, he didn't want to have to up the dose.

He couldn't focus. Sure Kyle Cartman and even Kenny where joining him next year at the University of Colorado, but Wendy was joining the peace core right after graduation, and was considering schools all over the world for her degree. Stan was secretly worrying about whether or not their relationship could make it.

But never mind that, there were more present issues to address. Kyle and Cartman were at each other's throats, _again_. It was ridiculous, they were going off to college in less than a year for crying out loud. Stan didn't want to have to deal with this shit anymore. Of course he tended to take Kyle's side of the arguments, but he was Cartman's friend too, and sometimes Kyle was an idiot.

This whole sleepover situation however, was absolutely absurd. Kyle's parents were going to be out of town, which meant that Gerald broflovski's whine collection would be at their disposal. Gerald was more of a collector than a drinker, he just liked to show off the bottles, not drink the contents; he thought they were too valuable to. The boys often drank from those precious bottles, then refilled them with water and Mr. Broflovski was none the wiser. Cartman was so nice when he got drunk, it was scary, but also a spectacle for all to behold. No one believed Stan when he told people, and this was an opportunity to get Cartman on tape.

Stan needed Kyle and Cartman to make up, not just because he had bet Clyde 200 bucks on what kind of drunk Cartman was, but also because if they couldn't get pass their differences soon, he worried that they never would. And Stan, at least in this aspect, wanted them all to grow the fuck up.

"Um Stan?" Kyle asked, looking just a tad annoyed, but patient as always.

"Oh sorry, what were you saying?"

"I wanted to know if you understood the difference between positive and negative cosine."

"What?!" Why was Kyle speaking a new language all of a sudden? Ugh, this town was so weird.

"I'll take that as a no." Kyle flipped to a different page in his text book. "See negative cosine is the same as …." Stan wondered if he could get Wendy to stop by at the sleepover. A drunk Wendy was also pretty fun. But none of that would happen if his friends didn't make up. Recently, Kyle had been quick to end parties because he was so pissed off at Cartman, he didn't feel like hosting. Shit. They were so sensitive. Stan was going to have to enlist Kenny for this problem.

* * *

Craig walked home with his head down and his hands in his pockets. The thought that Tweek might like someone else was really difficult to deal with. Outwardly stagnant that is. Sometimes he felt that maintaining his expressionless exposure would kill him. But it made him so freaking cool, plus he was naturally neutral anyway. It was just that lately he'd been on a major emotional rollercoaster.

The smell of coffee filled the air, taking Craig's mind back to Tweek. He cringed and pushed away the thought.

"hahaha stop it!"

The sound of laughter, that might help Craig take his mind off things. He looked up and saw the source of the coffee smell. Harbucks. He peered thru the window to see Tweek laughing. Craig's heart thumped painfully. He shook it off. He scanned the now empty window for the "NOW HIRING" sign, but it was gone. Maybe Tweek had already told his parents to hire Craig?

Craig looked to see what the source of the laughter was. And there, spraying out coffee creamer at Tweek like a water gun, was Red wearing a Harbuck's apron.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi guys. Been a while, huh. Yeah, so I was making my outline for this chapter, and realized that the scene I that I was talking about before – the scene I first thought of that inspired this fanfiction-probably won't be coming till chapter ten. Oh well. I should have nine out soon-ish. I'm not in school right now, and work hasn't started yet, so I'm super bored. Haha.**

 **Anyway, thank you so much for your positive reviews, they warm my heart and guilt me into continuing. Enjoy!**

* * *

Tweek and Red were having a gay old time working at Harbucks. It was so relaxing, not having to worry about boners, or premature ejaculation. Craig flirted too much, and Tweek was so sensitive. The customers were more manageable because of the extra help, and Red was good at staring rude customers down. Tweek really liked Red, especially now that he was 99% sure she wasn't planning on eating him.

Still…Tweek hadn't figured out how he was going to explain to Craig that the position had been filled. He had fiddled with the idea of telling Craig, that his parents had hired Red without consulting him first, but if Craig asked his parents, they would probably tell him the truth: that Tweek had recommended Red. He had called in at lunch, no less. Craig would know the extent of his betrayal. Tweek liked Craig, maybe even like-like. Well he like-liked the sex they had anyway…And the kisses…and the way Craig would sometimes run his hand over Tweek's leg under the table at lunch….

Shit, he was getting hard again. Tweek held a pitcher of creamer in front of his crotch, and tried to look nonchalant. The shop was empty for the most part, after-all it was 4:00pm on a Wednesday after-noon, and only coffee addicts, quitting drug addicts, and desperate house-spouses came at this time.

* * *

Red was ecstatic. Not only did Tweek stop avoiding her today, but he even asked her to work with him! She had to call Bebe and Wendy and pretty much everyone. Now that she and Tweek were one step away from being official, her parents would stop pushing her to go cotillion garbage. She swore they thought she was a lesbian. Which, to be fair they would probably fine with, if she were out and they could brag about it. But no, she was their horribly strait eighteen year-old, arguably attractive daughter, whom no one was dating. Clearly she was going to die alone.

Red shook her head and smiled. Tweek looked so sexy in his uniform. Of course he had been wearing it when she fell for him in the first place. _Mmm._ It was like she got to relive the memory over and over again, and get paid for it!

Tweek was holding a pitcher infront of his crotch. Could it be…?

"Watcha hiding?" Red asked leaning over the counter. She had just finished wiping down the tables.

"N-nothing!" Tweek stammered. He was embarrassed, but he didn't need to be. He was holding that pitcher a decent ways away from the part of his pants she could see.

"You're lying." Red ducked under the counter, and came up inches away from Tweek. Only the pitcher between them. Tweek took a nervous step back. Red followed. Tweek put the pitcher up on the counter and started to speed walk away from her. _Ha ha. You're not getting away that easily._ Red followed him around the small barista area.

"Stop it!" Tweek called. When Red almost had him cornered, he threw some sweet n low packets at her.

"Oh that's how you want to play it?" Red took the creamer and sprayed it all over him, covering him in sticky light brown froth. Tweek retaliated by spraying her with the detachable nozzle from the sink.

Soon they were on the floor laughing. Covered in coffee products and sugars. The barista station was a mess, but they were having too much fun to notice.

"Hey ,you think I could get some service?" Mr. Garrison was standing impatiently behind the counter. "Lemon-scented Dildos, Tweek. You could at least try and look professional before you fuck up my order."

Both Red and Tweek stood up then. "S-sorry, Mr. Garrison. I-uh-wasn't paying attention."

"Obviously." Mr. Garrison replied.

"Hey!" Red interjected. "He doesn't need to hear that from you. Go to the back of the line."

"But I was here first."

"I don't care. This is his shop, and if you don't like the service here, you can suck his balls and leave."

"My my, Red. You'll make a fine bitch-ass queen yet." Mr. Garrison marveled and went to the back of the line.

Red looked back at Tweek. They both grinned.

* * *

Cartman was flipping through the most recent issue of "Beefcake monthly", a subscription both he and his mother shared. He liked to see how he stacked up compared to the other beefcakes, while, she liked it for other reasons…Masturbating and crack snorting reasons probably. She was a crack-whore, but she was a pretty decent mom. Plus, her crack-habit, made her the fittest person in the Cartman family.

The phone rang. It was one of Cartman's side business phones, so he didn't call his mom to come downstairs and pick it up. Cartman checked the number. It was Craig. _What's that emo dyke want?_

Cartman picked up the phone.

"You've reached Cartman industries, how can I help you?"

Craig sounded disturbed, which was weird, because normally Craig sounded like an emotionally stunted robot. "Hey Cartman. Do you still forge documents."

"I most certainly don't, as that would be illegal. But if I did and I'm not saying I do, what you want them for, Stacey?"Cartman talked like this so that those idiots listening in on phone calls, wouldn't be able to pin them for anything.

"Ugh. I can't have any more unexcused absences. But I don't want to go to school for a while."

"I will most certainly not provide that to you at an amicable price of fifty dollars, and seventy-five cents. Also I will not send the notes from a local doctors office, immediately, Stacey. Please do not come to the park in one hour to pay me, as I am not doing anything for you."

Cartman hung up the phone, and quickly went to his costume closet in the basement. He pulled out a doctor's suit.

* * *

It was Bob's first day as a phone call spy for the government, and he was already impressed with the candor of this Cartman's business. Denying to give this Stacey woman any illegal documents was very righteous of him. He decided to move him to the "no possible threat ever" list.

* * *

It was Thursday morning, first period and Craig was nowhere to be found. The teacher had stepped out for a moment. Tweek looked around anxiously. _Oh no! He's dead! He's dead, he's dead, he's dead._

"Calm down Tweek, it's just mono." Cartman called from across the classroom. _Mono? Fuck-che-pu-up- "8 * dskf ;dos no!_ Tweek jumped out of his seat and ran out of the room.

* * *

Stan caught Kenny in between classes.

"Dude, wait up!" Stan called. Kenny turned around grinning.

"Hey, Stan, what's up?"

"You sure look happy." Stan commented. "Did someone just agree to give you a handjob or something?"

Kenny shook his head still grinning. "Nope, but I'm close to getting something."

Stan rolled his eyes. "I need your help, do you have a minute?

"What did ya need?"

"I want Kyle to re-invite Cartman to the party on Friday night."

"Aw, you ship them too?"

"What…?" The hell was Kenny talking about? "If Kyle is still mad at Cartman he might not feel up to hosting, and I need to show Clyde, Cartman drunk."

"Why?" Stan could see a flash of something wicked in Kenny's eye. He didn't know what it meant, but it probably wouldn't be smart to try and lie to him.

"I bet him 200$ that Cartman becomes a completely different person when he's drunk."

"I knew it!" Kenny was even giddier than before. "Give me half, upfront, and I'll help you with whatever you need."

"No way dude, no pay till I get results."

"Fine. But as soon as Kyle agrees to let Eric back in, I need the cash."

"Why do you need the money so soon anyway?"

"I got a date!"

Kyle was pulling his shirt on in the locker room. He was still pissed at Cartman. Why did he always have to shit all over him. Kyle had been looking forward to that party too. But now, he was debating about whether or not to cancel. He knew Stan was really looking forward to this party, but he also knew he wouldn't make a good host, feeling like this. Arguments with Cartman, contrary with anyone else, consumed him entirely. He couldn't stop thinking about them until they were resolved.

Kyle popped his head through his shirt, and was greeted with the backside of a naked Cartman, who had just wondered out of the shower. That fatass was always taking way too long in the shower. Hadn't he ever heard about conservation?

Okay…well maybe he wasn't technically a fatass anymore. Even from the back, his body was so chiseled, and his butt was firm and okay maybe a little sexy. _Stop it Kyle._ Kyle turned away, before Cartman turned around facing him.

Cartman wrapped a towel around his waist. Kyle could hear him fiddling with the fabric. _Little too late for modesty isn't it?_ Kyle snuck another peak when Cartman reached over and beside him to his locker.

Kyle had seen Cartman naked plenty of times. But lately it was getting to him in a… really weird way. Kyle didn't know what it was. All he knew was that whenever Cartman got too close, his face started to flush, and he felt very uncomfortable. Maybe Kyle's body was finally picking up how dangerous this asshole could be, and was trying to avoid him? Possibly. Cartman had done a lot of shitty things to Kyle in the past, like give him aids for one. His body might just have built up a Cartman defense, and that's why Kyle was acting this way. Plus feeling the urge to scan Cartman's naked body like this, was clearly just his eyes searching for weaknesses. Yup. All for defensive reasons.

 _Ugh._ Kyle decided to get out of the locker-room, before Cartman realized what he was doing.

* * *

Cartman exited the locker-room slightly annoyed. Lately he had taken to deliberately walking past Kyle without a shirt on. But Kyle never noticed, and that bothered him. I mean, who wouldn't notice a total mouthwatering beef-cake? But what really irritated Cartman, was that he let Kyle not noticing bother him. Cartman was trying to get Kyle out of his mind. He should see it as helpful that Kyle wasn't looking at him…right?

Both Stan and Kenny were waiting for him.

"Hey Cartman, why don't you just apologize to Kyle already?" Stan half-commanded half-asked.

"For what?" Cartman didn't know what event they were talking about. And he didn't want to think or talk about Kyle right now.

"The party. You said it was going to be lame." Stan reminded him, irritated.

Cartman rolled his eyes. "He already uninvited me. Doesn't that mean we're even?"

"Why don't you want to go to Kyle's house, Cartman?" Kenny prodded. "Afraid of something?"

"What?" Cartman was offended, and Stan just watched, confused.

"Certain urges perhaps." Kenny winked. "Everybody all liquored up, sleepy… and maybe a little willing to let go of some inhibitions…?"

"What are you implying?" Cartman demanded.

Kenny leaned in, so that only he and Cartman could hear. "Maybe you're afraid of doing something when you're inebriated…something to _Kyle_."

Eric turned bright red, and pushed Kenny away. "I am not!" Crap. Does he know? Eric was getting into defensive mode. And when he was in his defensive mode, he tended to not make very wise decisions. Like showing the whole class a picture of Butter's dick in his mouth decisions.

"Then why don't you want to go to the party?" Kenny asked, smug.

"It'll just be lame that's all." Cartman replied.

"Really, free alcohol is lame?" Shit. Eric was walking into a trap. "Hear that, Stan, from now on we just shouldn't invite Cartman to any parties. He doesn't like to drink."

"I like to drink!"

"Then why don't you want to go to Kyle's party?" Stan asked.

"Because I hate Kyle."

"Hasn't stopped you from going to get free booze from his house before." Kenny rebutted. _Well before, it was a lot easier to keep it in my pants._

"Kenny what did you whisper in Cartman's ear?" Stan asked.

"Fine, fine, what do you want from me?"

"We just want you to come to the party." Kenny said simply, patting Eric on the shoulder. " But Kyle won't let you back in unless you apologize."

"No way. I'm not apologizing to that Jew."

"Sure you are, cause you like to party." Kenny said. "Unless you have another reason…?

"Fine." Eric groaned in defeat.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So this chapter took me fooooreveeer, and it's all the restaurant scenes fault! I apologize in advance for it being so awkwardly written, but after three months, I had to get it out. I had too!**

Tweek left the coffee shop for school, a few minutes later than usual. He had hoped he'd spot Craig, and they could walk together. And Craig, could tell Tweek that he was just being a paranoid idiot thinking that Craig had Mono, or TB, or Herpes, or Aids…. And that Tweek had it too… No. Tweek felt fine, jumpy, scared, paranoid, and tired, but fine.

But when ten minutes had passed, Tweek forced his way out of the store. He couldn't afford to be late. He hoped Craig would be there when he got to school.

* * *

Kyle had decided. He was going to cancel the party. He was just so pissed, and he didn't know why, and he didn't want his friends to be victims of his impromptu PMS. Stan would be disappointed, but he'd get over it. Kenny seemed to already have plans for Friday, so missing out on one thing wouldn't ruin his day. The rest would just have to deal, and maybe throw a party somewhere else.

Kyle shook his head, and slammed his locker. A little too loud. He could hear the sound of his folder dropping from the impact. It didn't matter, Kyle kept his things organized.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder. Kyle turned around to face Tweek, who looked worse than normal. Maybe it was good that he was going to cancel his party, Tweek probably shouldn't be drinking.

"You okay, Tweek?" Kyle asked.

"Okay?!" Tweek asked, astounded, "How am I supposed to know that, when Craig might be dead!"

 _What?_ "What do you mean Craig might be dead?"

"He wasn't at school yesterday, and he's not here now… oh Jesus, he's dead isn't he?!"

Kyle patted Tweek's shoulders. Eyes full of concern for Tweek, not Craig, because Craig was obviously fine. "School hasn't even started yet, dude. Craig could still show up."

The bell rang.

"See?!" Tweek shrieked. He tried to wiggle out of Kyle's grasp. Kyle pressed down to keep him in place.

"Tweek. Just call him during break."

"What if he doesn't answer?" Tweek asked, dead serious, not stuttering at all, which made Kyle's eyes widen.

Kyle took a deep breath, he couldn't give in to this nonsense. "Then his phone might be off, or maybe he just doesn't feel like talking to anyone right now. Just because someone can't or won't pick up the phone doesn't mean they're dead." Tweek didn't look entirely convinced. But he was never convinced. "Come on, let's go to class." Tweek nodded, and Kyle released him.

* * *

Cartman stood just around the corner, near the water fountains. He had seen Kyle and Tweek's little scene in the hallway. With Kyle's hands all over Tweek. He had been this close to walking passed them and calling them gay. But Cartman had finally learned that acting on impulse only made you a suspect in these sorts of situations. 'Why you so worked up about guys being friendly Cartman? So what if they're gay, you don't need to call it out. Why are you being so homophobic all of a sudden? Are gay or something?' He unclenched his fists.

All he was trying to do, was get this little ginger Jew to let him back into his party, so that Kenny didn't spread his secret. _Stupid Kenny._ How the hell did he find out anyway? Did being poor give you some sort of sixth sense for gayness? An extremely accurate gaydar if you will? _Laaaaaaame._ He shouldn't have to be subjected to this sort of nonsense. He shouldn't have to feel so…jealous. - _ghuyuh Lame lame lame lame laaaame!_ Snap out of it Cartman.

Cartman took a step towards the hallway, Kyle was just about to enter the classroom. "Stop right there Kuyle!"

Kyle turned around annoyed. _Here we go._ "What do you want, Cartman?"

Cartman looked like he was suffering, his face was all scrunched up in pain and disgust. He didn't speak for a moment. Kyle sighed, and stepped back towards the classroom. "Wait!" Cartman said, almost desperate.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "What. Do. You. Want. Cartman?"

Cartman's pained expression softened into _concern?_! He looked like he was making a puppy face, but not the one he used to fool people. Kyle felt a flush coming up his ears. He pulled down the flaps of his ushanka. He rarely wore this hat anymore, but he was glad he brought it today.

"I-Just wanted to apologize…for my behavior…at lunch the other day." _What the hell?_ Was the sky falling?" Kyle's jaw dropped.

"W-what?" Kyle stuttered.

"I'm sorry. For….saying your party would be lame." Cartman tried to force out, though the last of it came out as a mutter.

Kyle couldn't help himself, he took a step towards Cartman, and put his hand on his forhead. "You okay dude?" He asked. His forhead was oddly warm. Cartman made an involuntary step back.

"No. no. Kyle, so nice of you to worry your pretty little Jew head." Cartman started to walk stiffly towards the classroom.

It took Kyle a moment to process this sudden change in Cartman's behavior. He could tell the apology was somewhat forced, but there was no reason for Cartman to do it. "You can come." He blurted out, surprising both Cartman and himself.

Cartman nodded and then hurried into the classroom. _Why the hell did I just do that? Wasn't I going to cancel?_ Well the whole argument was resolved. But he didn't  have to invite Cartman. Not having him on his mind and having a party without him would have been like having his cake and eating it too. But in that moment it was almost like his mouth was moving on its own, like his body was detached from his brain.

* * *

Red and Wendy stood in front of the mirror of the restroom during break, giggling. Red was ecstatic, thrilled beyond belief, elated, she couldn't think of other synonyms but those too! Tonight, she and Tweek would be going to the same party, and there would be booze- liquid courage. She didn't need it though, but still, maybe Tweek would. She wasn't so in love to be blind to his quirks, which she thought were cute, but still. He might be so embarrassed he wouldn't know what to do.

"You have to pick the moment." Wendy said. "Try whispering in his ear while your dancing, or better yet, get him to go outside with you alone or something, and tell him then."

"Well what if he doesn't feel the same way." Red wasn't really so concerned, but the adrenaline was making her nervous.

"Even if he's not there, yet, which I doubt since he asked you personally to work at his shop, and even got a boner," Wendy giggled. "No man would say no to you. I mean come on Red, know your worth." Wendy waved towards Red in the mirror. "Noone's gonna say no to _this_."

"Ugh I feel so objectified." Red said. Wendy playfully pushed her, they laughed.

* * *

Stan approached Kyle, with slight apprehension. He really needed this party to happen, and Cartman to be there. I mean $200 was a lot of money, and Clyde was rarely confident enough to bet so much.

"Hey dude, what time do you want me to come by and help set up?" Stan asked, doing his best to hide any indication that he was fearing Kyle might cancel the party.

"They'll be gone by 6:00, so any time after that is probably fine." Kyle answered.

"What?" Stan could not hide his surprise.

"Like 6:30 or something. Dude, the party starts at eight, so just get there when you can.

"Oh okay…"

"By the way, the weirdest thing just happened with Cartman."

Stan owed Kenny $100.

* * *

"Oh ho ho. I heard the party's still on." Kenny said, licking his lips expectantly at Stan, in study-hall. Stan sighed, as Kenny cupped his hands together and beckoned Stan and his wallet. Stan reached in his backpack, and grabbed a wad of cash. He placed it in Kenny's hands.

"I shouldn't have agreed to half." Stan said.

"It was a necessary evil, sweetheart." Kenny shrugged. "I doubt you would have been able to get Cartman to apologize by yourself."

"What did you whisper to him anyway?" Stan asked.

Kenny shook his head. For being so loose, he was really tight lipped. It came with the community he supposed. "If I told you, there's no way he'd go to the party."

"Oh come on, I won't tell anyone." Kenny grinned, shaking his head. Stan would bolt out of here and right to Kyle if he knew that Cartman had developed a crush on his supposed swarn enemy. Well maybe he would tell Wendy first then Kyle. Wendy didn't like being the last to know. Regardless, the party meant $100 for Bennigans, and sharing the secret meant a dent in his reputation.

Stan was about to object again, but the bell rang, and Kenny had to go pick up his date.

* * *

Butters waited outside the classroom anxiously. Okay, so he knew that Kenny was taking him to his favorite restaurant to make up for acting pervy all week, but still, something didn't feel right. Kenny seemed way to excited for this. Don't get him wrong, Butters loved Benigans, but no one loves Bennigans that much. Ever since he agreed to let Kenny take him to Bennigans, Kenny had been passing notes to him in class containing messages like "I'm so excited for Bennigans" and "4 more hours till Bennigans, scratch that, 3 hours and 59 minutes." It was weird. Butters was afraid that his friend might have an addiction to high quality family friendly American style food.

Kenny approached, and Butters swore his eyes brightened when they made contact with his own. "Hey Butters, are you ready for Bennigans!"

"Y-you bet." Butters said, failing at being convincing.

"What's wrong?" Kenny asked.

"I'm just worried you might be a little too excited for Bennigans." Butters said.

"Whats wrong with that? Bennigans is a great restaurant."

"Yes. Yes it is. In moderation, but you can really hurt your cholesterol eating there too much Ken. I don't want to encourage an addiction."

* * *

He was encouraging an addiction all right. Kenny nearly busted a gut, he laughed so hard. Butters just looked on, confused and concerned. "Butters" Kenny managed to breath out. "I've been to Bennigans maybe once before in my entire life. I don't even remember it that well."

Butters sighed in relief, "Oh so you were just excited that you were going after all this time." Butters smiled, and started heading towards the parking lot.

"Yeah, I'm really excited." Kenny said, eyeing Butters' lovely ass as he followed him.

* * *

It was only 3:30 when Kenny and Butters arrived at Bennigans so the dinner rush had yet to start. On the door was a peculiar sign reading "Today only, Girls eat free." Which seemed more like a plot devise from a desperate fan fiction writer, than something Bennigans would actually do.

Butters looked at Kenny, Kenny had a strange grin, and his eyes were wide and filled with something that was really weirding Butters out.

"Hey Butters…" Kenny placed his hands behind his back and bent towards Butters.

"Didn't you say this was your treat?" Butters asked, hoping Kenny would drop it.

"Yeah, but why not? We can get whatever we want…."

"I don't even own anything that would allow me to pass-"

Kenny walked back to his car. When he came back, he was carrying an old rusty briefcase.

"Ken, why do you-"

"You never know when an opportunity is going to present itself, plus, anytime Japanese officials come, Princess Kenny might need to make an appearance."

"Well I'm not going to stop you from having your fun cross-dressing, if that's really what you want to do."

"I appreciate that." Kenny still had that weird look on his face. Butters started towards the door, but Kenny caught his hand.

"I'm going to feel really awkward if I'm the only one doing this."

Butters was really starting to worry. "Didn't you just say that you do this a lot."

"Yeah, but it's been a while, plus I really want to have lunch with Margarine."

"Then maybe y-you should have taken me to a French restaurant."

"You'd be willing to cross-dress if I took you to a French restaurant?"

"What-no! Margarine is French for- I'm not doing it Ken."

"Pleeeeeeeease," Kenny gave Butters his puppy face.

"N-no! If my parents found out, I'd be grounded for sure."

"You won't be found out."

"You can't know that."

Kenny sighed. He started to look legitimately depressed. Butters' heart clenched. He hated seeing his friends' being sad.

"Why do you want me to cross-dress, so badly?" Butters asked.

"Because, you'll be missing out if you don't."

"I don't like wearing ladies' clothes Kenny. I don't mind missing out on that."

"Not that. The feeling as if you're getting away with something."

"I never get away with anything." Butters said, brooding.

"Well, trust me, this time you will." Kenny grabbed Butters' shoulders. "I promise."

Butters met his eyes and sighed in defeat. "You're not my size."

"One of my dresses has a draw string back, and I have a waist belt!" Kenny said excitedly. Before Butters could say anything else, Kenny dragged him off to the convenience store across the street to use their restroom.

* * *

"Princess Kenny?!" The Bennigans manager gasped, and then quickly took a knee and bowed showing proper respect to his highness and crowned magical girl, Princess Kenny McCormick. That she would grace his humble restaurant on this afternoon, was beyond his comprehension. He quickly made eye-contact with his shift manager, and she ran to get the best table ready.

Now, the manager had to admit that Princess Kenny was not quite as…cute as she used to be. Much more muscular, and broader shouldered than she had been as a child, but she was a magical girl fighting for the Playstation cause. Of course she'd be buff. Plus, her beautiful friend more than made up for the lack of eye-candy.

He lead them to their table, and bowed gracefully once they had seated, kissing both the princess and her guests' hand, and then ran to go prepare their drinks.

* * *

Butters was very close to imploding. He could feel it. Kenny had dressed him up in this light blue sun dress, (way to light for the snow outside, but his hot chagrin more than made up for it), and makeup, shaping his face to be much softer than it actually was.

"See, they totally bought it!" Kenny said, beaming. He was wearing his customary pink and white dress, sewn longer now that he had grown a couple feet.

Butters didn't answer, he was not in the mood to put up with anymore. He knew that Kenny was trying to do this as an apology for his inappropriate behavior from earlier in the week, but somehow Butters felt like he was being tricked.

"Aw come on. Don't be like that. You look really good Butters, you should go out like this more often."

Butters glared at Kenny. Not exactly happy that he could pull off looking like a girl.

"My Princess," The manager suddenly appeared at the table. "If I may ask, what is the name of this lovely flower?" _Flower?_ Butters looked around, and saw no plants of any kind.

He looked back to see the manager looking at him hungrily. Butters scooted back further into the booth.

"Marjorine." Kenny said, regally, his girl voice not at all convincing.

Wait, Marjorine? Now he remembered. Butters looked at Kenny as he shooed the manager away.

"I can't believe you remember that." Butters said looking at Kenny.

"Of course. I wouldn't have risked dressing you up, if I thought you couldn't pull it off."

Butters shook his head. "You know we could still get caught Ken, and if they call the police…"

"Woah woah. No one would dare call the authorities on royalty." Kenny said, almost offended.

"Sure, not on royalty… but that won't stop me from getting in trouble." Butters said softly, looking down.

"I won't let that happen." Kenny said.

Butters smiled and shook his head, keeping his eyes on the menu on the table in front of him. "It doesn't matter what's really going on or what I'm doing, I always end up being the one in trouble."

They were silent for a moment. Butters read some of the options on the menu, but none seemed very appealing.

"I know what you mean." Kenny Breathed.

Suddenly, Butters felt that his friend was hiding some sort of great burden from him. "How, Kenny?" Butters asked.

Kenny sighed, "you know, I'm literally dying all the time, and no one notices."

"Are you depressed or something?"

Kenny flashed a sad smile. "No Butters… I just always seem to be getting hurt is all."

"Me too!" Butters said. Hundreds of memories running through his head. "Like when we were playing ninjas when we were eight, and you threw a ninja star in my eye!"

"Oh yeah... I'd almost forgotten about that. Kenny laughed.

"It wasn't funny. I almost went blind."

"Oh come on, I've had way worse."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"Like when that pterodactyl came out of nowhere and ate me!"

"That was one time," Butters laughed. "I was nearly killed by my therapist."

"Death has literally chased me around with his finger all day." Butters knew Kenny was kidding by now, but it was nice to see he had his energy back.

The waiter brought them their drinks, and left to give them more time to decide what to order.

"Come on Butters, are you really not having any fun with this?" Kenny asked, playing with his straw.

"What do you mean?" Butters asked.

"When we were nine I remember you having a hell of a time as Marjorine." Kenny pointed out. Butters blushed.

"That was different. Now I-Im too old for dress up."

"How was it different?"

"Well…" Butters looked down at his napkin, and started folding it into tinier squares. "At the time, it was really nice to get away from being me for a while, you know?"

Kenny nodded for Butters to continue. "For once I wasn't 'Butters' who gets picked on and grounded for every lil thing, I was Marjorine, and I felt oddly accepted in that group of girls. It was nice to just have a dance party and not worry about anything.

"I know exactly what you mean." Kenny assured him. He took off his crown and handed it to Butters as proof. "I switched sides, just to be able to be a princess." He reminded Butters. "Sometimes, it's more fun to pretend you're someone else."

"Exactly!" Butters exclaimed. "When I'm Majorine, no one teases me."

"When I'm princess Kenny, I never pass on when I die."

Kenny looked sad for a moment, but what he was saying didn't make any sense. "Kenny, what are you talking about?"

"Remember when we were kids, and were in the "Coon and friends" gang in Cartman's basement?" Kenny asked.

Butters wrinkled his nose. "I remember being locked in a cage, and forced to eat my own poop."

"I told everyone that my power was not being able to die. I was serious." Kenny looked at Butters, pleading for something, but Butters didn't know what.

"I die all the time, in horrible awful ways, and I always come back. But no one ever remembers."

"Kenny, that's not something to joke about." Butters said.

"I know, because it's not a joke." Kenny muttered to himself.

They sat in silence for a while. A waiter came to take their order, and Butters just ordered a cheese-burger.

Finally, when their food had been delivered, and Kenny was picking at his salad, Butters said, "If you died, I'd remember."

Kenny looked up at Butters and smiled sadly. "I'm sure you would…until I came back to life again."

"Do you really die all the time?" Butters was always willing to give his friends the benefit of the doubt. Though most of the time he'd later realize that people were screwing with him. Trust was in his nature, Butters knew deep down, that if you could no longer trust and love and hope, then the world really was as horrid as it sometimes seemed to him. So, Butters trusted, he trusted everything to turn out alright, because he didn't, no wouldn't, believe that the world was really that bad. There was no point in living in a world like that. Butters loved the world, the world was innately good, it had to be.

"Yes." Kenny said. "And I don't even mind it half the time. I mean the way I die and the pain of death still sucks, but I'm used to it by now, you know? I just wished people remembered. They just look at me like I'm some sort of asshole, when I don't sympathize with their petty problems."

"Well the next time you die and then come back to life, I'll do my best to remember," Butters promised him. He would too, he'd write it down or something. It was hard to believe that Kenny had really died before, and often too, but Butters didn't think Kenny was lying to him. Kenny was one of the only people who had never lied to him.

Kenny smiled, an actual genuine smile, and then said "Well we'd better eat this free food now," so we don't miss Stan's party. I want to see if his bet was actually worth the $100 I didn't have to spend on this meal.

"What bet?" Butters asked, intrigued.

 **Ugh, this was the longest chapter yet, and I know what your thinking, "KC, where is the smut?!" It's coming DX. But there's so much plot to get through first... I'm going to start getting more chapters out faster - hopefully.**

 **Anywho, thanks for sticking with me thus far, please review if you feel like it.**

 **Thanks!**


	10. Chapter 10

Kyle handed Stan three wine bottles from his Dad's collection, on display in the living room. A part of Kyle wanted to feel guilty about taking his dad's wine without his permission, but then he remembered all the shit he had put him and his brother through in the whole trolling incident, and figured this was way less than he deserved.

Once Stan had placed them on the coffee table, Kyle handed him a few bottles of his dad's whisky. Again, no guilt was found.

After the alcohol was laid out, Kyle and Stan collected everything fragile and valuable and hid it in Kyle's room, locking the door behind them. Their friends weren't as wild as teen movies would have you believe, but accidents did happen, and they wanted to be prepared.

Right at eight, people started to arrive. It was a sleepover, so extra guests where expressly forbidden, but that didn't stop Wendy, Bebe and Red from showing up. Kyle didn't mind, it would have been somewhat of a sausage fest if there weren't at least some girls. But if he walked in on Stan and Wendy again, he was going to sucker punch him.

* * *

Tweek looked around nervously. "Um Stan, is Craig here?"

"I haven't seen him." Stan said, shrugging. "But Craig's never been the type to go to a party, when he didn't feel like it."

That was true. But lately it seemed like Craig didn't feel like doing _anything_ , including, Tweek swallowed, breathing? –" _ngh flaghuhuadfa._ "

"Dude, calm down." Stan put his arm around Tweek. "Have a drink." He handed Tweek a beer, (provided by Bebe),but Tweek turned it down.

"D-do you have any coffee?"

"I'd ask Kyle, I have no idea how his expresso maker works."

Tweek spotted Kyle opening the door, for Kenny and Butters. They were giggling about something, Tweek hoped it wasn't him.

"K-Kyle? Do you have any coffee?"

Kyle turned to face him, "Yeah, sure dude."

He lead Tweek to the kitchen, a KitchenAid expresso maker was sitting promptly on the counter. "I don't know how to use it, but-"

"I-it's okay! I've got it!" Tweek quickly began preparing his coffee.

After his expresso was done, Tweek grabbed his cup and took an over eager sip, the liquid burning his tongue. He didn't mind it, Tweek was always burning his tongue. He let the caffeine wash over him, truly believing that it was somehow calming his nerves.

He cradled his coffee as he entered the living room. Sipping it in the corner of the room, while watching the door, waiting for Craig.

The doorbell rang, but the music seemed to be too loud for anyone to hear it. Tweek looked around, hoping that he wouldn't have to be the one to touch the doorknob that was probably going to break on impact, causing Tweek to have to pay for it's repair. He couldn't afford door repairs! He was a kid!

The bell rang again, and finally Tweek moved to open it. The door didn't break, but as Cartman pushed past him, Tweek lost his balance, and his expresso splattered all over Cartman's shirt.

* * *

"laaaame!" Cartman groaned.

"I-I-I-I" Tweek started. Cartman didn't want to nor need to hear it. He shrugged off his shirt and sniffed it.

"Tweek, you're at a party, why the fuck are you drinking coffee when there is free booze?"

"Leave him alone Eric!" Red called, crossing over. What had her panties in a bunch? Cartman shook his head, and strolled over to the restroom, where he hung his shirt to dry. He didn't know how to stop a stain from setting, but he wasn't going to let it get all moldy and gross for the walk home.

* * *

Wendy was staring at Cartman. Wendy was staring at Cartman's _abs_. Stan had flashbacks to the third grade, when Wendy had briefly had a thing for Cartman. He tried to get his girlfriends attention, but feared that his clothed covered body just wasn't going to cut it. He stripped off his shirt, and stepped in front of Wendy, blocking her view of Cartman.

"What are you doing?" Wendy asked, raising an eyebrow. Stan shrugged nervously, and turned his head to look pleadingly at Kyle. Kyle got the message and took his shirt off as well.

"Fuck yeah!" Kenny exclaimed, taking off his shirt. "Don't you want to take your shirt off too Butters?"

"No thank you." Butters laughed, as Clyde Token and Jimmy followed suit.

"You're next Bebe!" Clyde called.

"You wish." Bebe raised a bottle of whisky to Clyde, then poured some into a red cup for herself.

Stan sighed in relief. Wendy just rolled her eyes. Nothing got past her. It was what Stan both hated and loved about her at the same time.

Wait Clyde was here, Stan had a bet to win. "Cartman, Clyde, lets play a drinking game!"

* * *

While the dumbass boys were getting smashed, Red saw this as the perfect opportunity to talk to Tweek outside. Yes, Wendy had suggested to wait for him to be drunk, but clearly Tweek was too mature to be drinking, given that he had opted for coffee even at a party.

Red breathed in the cool night air, it was nice, and not too cold. Though she was still glad that Tweek had kept his shirt on. This might have been a bit too intimidating if one of them was already half naked. And by too intimidating she meant for Tweek. He was already shaking, looking around nervously.

Red slid the screen door shut behind them. Not wanting anyone to intrude on their conversation.

"W-what did you want to talk to me about?" Tweek asked, in that cute way of his.

* * *

Red was looking at Tweek weird again. He didn't like that they were out here all alone. Sure, he knew now that Red wasn't going to eat him, but the only one he ever truly felt comfortable being alone with was Craig. And Craig might be dead already, what if he was Red's first Victim. _No, that's ridiculous. Red has been doing you a huge favor by working at the shop, knock it off, you spaz!_

"Tweek," Red took a step closer, getting into Tweek's bubble. RED ALERT. _She's not going to eat you, she's not going to eat you!_ Tweek knew he was being irrational, but Craig's unexplained absence had really been sending his anxiety into overdrive, and rationality just wasn't winning right now. "I know your nervous… I am too…"

What the hell was she talking about? She didn't seem nervous at all, and nervous about what?! What was going on?! "and I think you know where I'm going with this…" Tweek's eyes widened, he really didn't. "Okay, I like you, and I think you like me too, and I think…" Another step. Oh fuck. "That we should…" She began leaning in, her mouth centimeters away- she really was going to eat him!

Tweek jumped back. Red blinked. "Okay what the hell is going on?" She asked indignant.

What the hell is going on? "You tell me!" Tweek cried, taking another step back.

"I'm trying to fucking confess to you!" Oh. "How are you not getting this? I like you- _romantically_." Red stepped forward again, blushing. "I….wanted to kiss you", she took another step this was too much for Tweek to process. Red liked him? Then all those weird looks were…oh. "Is that okay?" Red whispered seductively, looking up at him.

Tweek put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back so that she was standing upright, and a safe arms-distance away from him. "I-I'm sorry. I don't -I just- I don't think I feel the same way." Tweek said, and then ran into the house, and out the front door.

* * *

Red looked at the opened screen door for a while, in shock. Eventually, she was able to pull herself together enough to walk back inside.

She shut the door behind her, and crossed over to the living room, where Cartman, Clyde, Bebe, and Token were trashed.

Wendy looked up at her, and her smile faded as she saw the lifeless expression on Red's face. "My OTP…" she breathed, and crossed over and wrapped her arms around Red.

"I don't understand…" Red started, but then drifted off into her own head.

"Let's get you home." Wendy said, grabbing her and Red's purse. "Stan, I'm going to take Red home. Bebe, I'll be back in like twenty minutes if you need me to take you home too." Red looked around, not really seeing anything, as she was lead home.

* * *

"Okay, never have I ever gotten an enemy's parents killed and fed them to him." Stan said.

"This is rigged bullshit." Cartman complained, drinking his fourth whisky shot. Kyle had to agree with Cartman, Stan really did seem to want him to get drunk.

"Okay-my turn." Cartman said, slightly slurring his words. The alchohol was finally starting to hit him. "Never have I ever been Black or a Jew or Stan or Token."

"You can't do that Cartman." Kyle sighed.

"Plus Token is black so you didn't need to…?"Clyde trailed off musing. Clyde was very philosophical when he was drunk. He might very well be wondering if Cartman meant black in a past life. Of course Cartman was probably just drunk.

Stan took a shot of whisky, probably not wanting Cartman too accuse him of cheating. Kyle sighed and took a shot too. He didn't know what Stan was up too, but he wasn't going to throw his friend under the bus.

They continued to play their game for a while longer, and then Kyle suggested they stop, as he didn't want any of them to get alcohol poisoning.

"Hey Cartman, how are you doing, buddy?" Stan asked him, nodding to Clyde for some reason.

"I'm great, thanks for asking Stan, you're alright.

Suddenly a light fixture fell from above the fireplace and onto Kenny.

* * *

Butters shrieked. Probably a little louder than necessary, but he was a bit buzzed. Kenny was bleeding in splotches from chest to navel.

"You okay dude?" Kyle asked, rushing to their side.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Do you want us to take you to the hospital?" Kyle asked.

"No health insurance." Kenny shrugged. Oh hamburgers. This was bad.

"Well I should at least walk you home." Kyle said.

"Fuck that." Kenny shook his head. "Can I just lie down in your room or something, It's probably more sterile than any room in my house, anyway.

Kyle bit his lip, then sighed. "Okay but I don't want to leave you alone."

"Butters will go with me. Won't you Butters?"

"O-Of course!" Butters knew basic first aid, he'd had plenty of his own near death experiences. Kenny needed his help.

Butters and Kyle helped support Kenny up the stairs, and onto Kyle's bed.

"Tell me if anything goes wrong." Kyle said, looking at Butters seriously.

Butters nodded. "Where's your first aid kit?"

"My mom keeps one under the sink in the bathroom."

"Okay. I'll go get it." Butters quickly retrieved the kit, and returned to Kenny's bedside. Kyle left to go attend to his drunk guests.

Butters ran a damp wash-cloth along Kenny's abdomen and stomach. "You're wounds don't seem to be too deep."

"I told you shit like this always happens to me." Kenny sighed. Butters wet a cotton ball with rubbing alcohol, and gently pressed it to one of the wounds. Kenny hissed.

"Sorry." Butters said, wetting another cotton-ball. "But you know, if the light hadn't fallen on you, it definitely would have fallen on me." He dabbed another wound. "So in a way I'm kind of glad it landed on you." Butters wet another cotton-ball and dabbed the last wound.

"Really?" Kenny asked, incredulous.

"Nah, I'm just kidding." Butters smiled down at him. "It stings less when your distracted."

Kenny looked down at his now clean wounds. "That it does. What's next?"

"Well I oughta bandage you up, but your bleeding's stopped, so I'd like to give your wound some time to breath first.

Butters felt awkward just staring down at Kenny, so he leaned back on Kyle's bed to talk with him face to face.

"I'm glad too." Kenny said.

"Oh shucks Kenny, I told you I wasn't serious." Butters shook his head.

"No, I'm just happy that I got hurt, but not fataly. That actually rarely happens." Butters closed his eyes, and nodded. There Ken was going again with all that death talk. Butters wished he could remember Kenny dying. But he couldn't, so he still had to fight off the doubt that kept nagging at him. He felt guilty that he wasn't completely able to trust his friend. "…And if anything should happen that's either going to hurt one of us, I'd rather it be me. Because I can come back. And I'd rather not see you hurt…"

That was the nicest thing anyone had probably ever said to him. Butters could feel warm tears coming up, but he fought against them, shaking his head and smiling instead.

"I'm tired Butters." Kenny yawned. "If I take a nap, will you stay?"

"Of course Kenny. I told you I'd stay right by your side till you get better. I might take a nap too."

"Great, we can tell everyone we slept together." Not again. Butters lowered his brows, but decided that Kenny was too hurt to watch what he was saying, so he let it slide.

"Just go to sleep you freaking pervert." Butters kissed his friend's cheek, goodnight, and fell into his own deep sleep.

* * *

Craig looked in the mirror of the upstairs restroom that he shared with his little sister. He looked grim, but his resolve was set. He cleared his face of any emotions that might give away his plan or humanity, flashed himself the bird, and walked back to his room.

He had already settled the details with himself, counseled with the Guinea Pigs, and meditated on it, well thought of it while masturbating, but cumming into transcendence had to count for something, right?

He was going to face this problem head on. It was a big risk, and probably one of the most stupid ideas Craig had ever come up with on his own. But he set his mind to do it, and so it would be done.

* * *

Cartman was like a completely different person. Clyde had broken a glass, and it had been Cartman, who volunteered to get the broom and sweep it up, because Clyde wasn't wearing shoes. Kyle wondered if this was a sign of alcohol poisoning.

He turned to Stan who was sitting next to him with Wendy perched on one of his legs.

"Dude what the hell is up with Cartman?" Kyle muttered, so that only his friend could hear.

"Amazing, right? He always gets like this when he's wasted."

"Is that why you were trying to get him drunk?"

"Yeah dude, plus, Clyde now owes me $200."

"Sweet, dude!" Kyle high-fived Stan.

"Hey Kyle, where do you keep your dustpan?" Cartman asked, a small pile of neatly swept glass was shimmering by the lounge chair.

"I'll get it." Kyle got up, and walked over to the kitchen. He reached between the fridge and counter, where his family kept the dust pan. When he turned back, he saw Cartman awkwardly standing in the kitchen before him.

"Hey Kyle." Cartman said.

"Here's the dustpan." Kyle handed him the dustpan. Cartman took it, but didn't move.

Kyle raised an eyebrow. That weird feeling was coming back. He needed to get out of there. "Um, I'm just going to go…" He gestured his thumb towards the living room. Kyle tried to leave the kitchen, but Cartman was blocking his path. "move fat-ass."

Cartman took a deep breath. Was he okay? "Look Kahl, um thanks for letting me come tonight." What the hell? Kyle wasn't expecting a thank you from anyone, least of all Cartman.

"N-no problem dude." Kyle said, taking a step back. Cartman stayed where he was.

"I wanted to apologize for before. For seriously. Kyle… I didn't mean to shit all over your party. I don't actually have any issue with your house, or even you really. It's just fun to rag on you and sometimes I go overboard. I'm sorry." He was serious. Holy shit. He was fucking serious!

Kyle could feel his cheeks beginning to flush. "A-apology accepted. Now let me through." He said it a bit more gruffly than he intended. But it felt like something was stuck in his throat. Cartman's face dropped. Oh fuck. He wasn't upset or anything was he? Kyle's gut felt like it was twisting inside of him. His chest hurt. He pushed past Cartman, and headed to the downstairs restroom.

He splashed water on his face. _What the hell is wrong with me?!_ Kyle shook his head. It was just weird that's all. Cartman was never this nice, or…genuine. His body just didn't know what to make of the situation. But to react like this, he thought these spills of warmth and uneasiness were supposed to be some kind of danger radar. But Cartman wasn't giving off the dangerous vibe at all. Dude was acting like a teddy bear, and was too wasted to fight. Kyle splashed some more water on his face and then turned off the fossit.

He entered the living room, which was now glass free. Bebe Token and Clyde had fallen asleep on one-another on the living chair. Stan and Wendy were snoozing on the couch. Kyle walked upstairs to check on Kenny, and found both he and Butters sleeping in his bed. _Great, I guess the sleepover ended/started without me_. Kyle sighed, and shut the door gently on the two sleeping blonds.

Kyle went back downstairs, and noticed that Cartman was missing. He checked the bathroom, and Cartman's shirt was still hanging. It was dry now. He hoped Cartman hadn't gone home without it. Kyle opened the front door to see if there were any clues that suggested that Cartman had gone home. He found Cartman sitting outside on the front porch steps. And for some reason, he felt a strange urge to join him.

* * *

Cartman felt light-headed, he probably shouldn't have drank so much, but he hadn't wanted to give Stan the satisfaction of calling him out on not being a team player. It was something he had been working on improving about himself, not that he'd ever admit it.

Kyle was sitting next to him on the porch, and Cartman wasn't sure how long he'd been there. Finally Kyle spoke. "You okay?" he asked.

Cartman looked at Kyle, pale chest bathed in the moonlight, short red hair framing his face, and loose strands catching the light in a sort of halo. He looked absolutely beautiful. But it was all for not. Kyle hated his guts. Cartman looked down and sulked.

"Cartman?" Kyle asked. He tapped his shoulder. The contact sent brief shivers down Cartman's spine. He wished he'd just go away. Kyle was too good for him, and Kyle knew it. It wasn't fair. Cartman wished that Kenny hadn't forced him to come, forced him to see Kyle like this.

* * *

Kyle crossed in front of him, and kneeled down on the step bellow him, so that he could get a better view of Cartman's face. He slowly lifted it, hoping that Cartman wasn't sick. Cartman didn't vomit, but the look he gave Kyle was so pained, it made Kyle want to comfort him.

"Talk to me." Kyle almost pleaded.

"I can't." Cartman said. Jerking his head away.

"Why not?" Kyle asked.

"Because neither of us are going to like what I have to say."

"Oh." Well that was to be expected. Half of the things Cartman said were poison. "I don't care. Whatever it is just say it."

Cartman remained silent. But his face contorted into something painful and desperate.

Kyle lifted his face again. "Say it."

"You're too good for me." Cartman spat out, shutting his eyes. Kyle dropped his head. What the hell was that?!

"What do you mean?" Kyle asked bewildered. Cartman looked up, this time making eye contact. They stared at each-other for a few seconds. That weird feeling crawling back up Kyle's skin in a warm flush.

Then Cartman slowly leaned forward, and kissed him. Suddenly the warmth Kyle felt was a floating tingling sensation. Kyle froze in hesitation, and Cartman stopped, and so did the feeling.

Then Kyle kissed him back.

* * *

 **a/n wow, this chapter was way easier to write than the last one. Is it terribly written? Of course. But its out there! haha.**

 **Also if you get or your friend gets hurt like that at a party, go to a hospital. I am not trained in first aid, therefore this story's content should not be taken as serious medical advice (obviously :D).**

 **Please review if you enjoyed it!**

 **Thanks!**


	11. Chapter 11

Sometimes people do bad things for the right reasons. Sometimes, people have to get a little hurt for things to get better. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. And that's what Craig was doing. Yes, he would probably look like the bad guy to everyone, but at least this time he was _actually_ doing something that warranted the response. Besides, Tweek owed him for the fallout of their last big public fight, in fourth grade. Craig hadn't done anything wrong, but everyone thought that he had cheated on Tweek with some kid named Michael, and glared at him for the rest of the week. Because of this, he couldn't get any chicks. It was totally fair to stop Tweek from getting chicks too. Wasn't it? Plus, Tweek would forgive him, eventually.

At least he hoped he would…

Still, Craig had weighed all of his options, and taken into account every possible resulting scenario, and still decided to do this. Okay, maybe he hadn't thought of _everything,_ but he didn't have time. Red was moving in fast, and Tweek had been avoiding him. Something had to be done, before everything fell apart.

Now, Tweek had seemed to stop avoiding him, he had been texting and calling like crazy these last few days, but Craig feared the worst. That Tweek was trying to get a hold of him to stop their arrangement, so he could date Red, and live a blissful heteronormative life, where he wouldn't be hounded by his parents, or have his relationship status be a celebrity for the town to comment on. But Craig didn't want that. Yes, the town annoyed him to bits, and his finger had grown sore from all the times he had to flash it at people staring, but he liked Tweek. And he didn't want to share him.

* * *

Cartman woke up to the smell of pancakes that his mother had placed by his bed. He took the plate, and then retreated with it back under the covers. He nibbled on it while he feared what school had in store for him today. Why the fuck did he have to do that?! He shouldn't have drunk at that party. He should have just made himself puke so that Kenny would have let him go home without question. _Kenny, that asshole_.

Now everyone would know, that Eric Cartman had a hard on for a Jew. Because Kyle couldn't be trusted to keep his mouth shut. He was Jewish, and always ruining things for Cartman. Okay, so maybe that was rarely true. But he definitely would have told Stan, and then Stan would have told Wendy because even if Jews can keep their mouths shut sometimes, vegans certainly can't. And if Wendy knew, then everyone else did too. Because Wendy was a bitch.

Maybe he just shouldn't go to school today. He'd tell his mom that her pancakes gave him diarrhea, and she would let him stay home. It had to have been a fluke that Kyle kissed back. Maybe he was just a slut when he was drunk. No doubt the Jew would lead everyone to believe that Cartman forced himself on him. Well if he did, Cartman would just say that it was Kyle who forced him, and Kenny was an accomplice who forced him to get drunk. Kenny couldn't say his blackmail was based on Cartman liking Kyle, because that would be insinuating that since Cartman allegedly had feelings for Kyle and that Kenny knew that ahead of time. Eric would just make it seem like Kyle and Kenny to take advantage of him. Yeah, that work.

Cartman rolled out of bed, his pancakes finished. He could do this. If he survived showing himself giving an accidental blowjob to Butters, he could survive this. If not there would be lawsuits. He'd sue everyone for slander and defamation of character. The money would make him feel better, and soften the blow. Cartman considered calling up Cupid Me, as a quick rebound option, but then he remembered how clingy that dude was and thought better of it.

* * *

Kyle was at school much earlier than normal. Sometimes he liked to get to school early to get some last minute studying in before a test, or to research some Canadian info when his brother was acting hormonal. He had googled "Can Canadian boys get periods?" once at home, and Ike had been looking over his shoulder. Long story short, Ike was even pissier after that. Today, Kyle was at school to do research on someone else's hormones; his own.

Friday had been so messed up, dude. None of his memories from that night made any sense. Nor did the tightening of his pants when he tried to remember that night. Had he really kissed Cartman? Had Cartman actually been a decent human being?! Had Kyle actually regretted, for the briefest of moments, that their interaction had ended after just kissing?

"Gyaaah!" Kyle shaked his head. He was glad there was no one in school to see this internal struggle. Especially Stan, he really didn't have it in him to begin to explain what was going on between himself and Cartman to his best friend. The friend, who knew just as well as Kyle should, what a disgusting and vile person Cartman was.

But kissing him had felt so good! And after that brief moment, they had both run home, so there was no time to process what all that was about. Kyle had inferred two of the hardest to believe theories ever after that. The first, was that Cartman, the boy who had often suggested their group of friends kill Kyle, liked him. The second, was that this weird feeling that Kyle had thought was a warning about Cartman, was actually a yearning for Cartman.

"Ugh!" Kyle could feel the vomit coming up. The idea was just so wrong. The whole situation was fucked up. And worse was this fear—this little anxiety that Kyle was trying very hard to ignore—that Cartman only acted that way towards him because he was drunk, and that it wasn't real at all. Kyle had been a little intoxicated, but Cartman had seemed like an entirely different person, so it could have all been because of the alcohol, and none of it real. And Kyle wished that he didn't feel this way. If Cartman were here, he'd bust a gut laughing at him, and then dance around the whole school, telling everyone how Kyle was stupid enough to fall for him. _At least Cartman won't tell anyone about Friday night._ Cartman was too proud to admit something like that, and probably more embarrassed than Kyle was that it had happened.

"A-are you okay?"

Kyle flipped around, to see Tweek Tweak, hesitantly standing behind him. "Not really."

"Oh Jesus! Do you have what Craig has?! Is it contagious?" Good old Tweek. Kyle could distract himself from his own issues and focus on Tweek's.

"No Tweek. I'm not sick, I wouldn't be at school if I were."

"Why are you here so early?" Tweek asked.

"I was going to the library…" Kyle just then remembered that he had come to research homosexuality before anyone else got there. Guess that no longer an option. "Why are you here?"

"I-uh…" Tweek looked down. He seemed to be twitching more than usual. "Well, Red is supposed to be working this morning, and—It's too much pressure!" That's right. Tweek had rejected Red on Friday night too. Man, what was going on that night? Kenny almost died, Tweek was confessed to, and Cartman was nice. _Cartman._ Kyle flushed.

"I…'m sure that its fine, Tweek." Kyle said. "She'll probably quit soon anyway. But if you keep avoiding her like this, the situation will never be resolved." Right. And what happened last night between him and Cartman wouldn't be resolved until they talked about it. He just had to suck it up, and face him. Kyle was good at that. He could take a hit. He had taken over everyone in the town's debt for them, so that the economy could go on after the financial crises. He could do this much.

* * *

Kenny drove Butters to school. Things were going very well on the Butters front. Soon they would be doing more than just walking together, like holding hands and butt stuff. When they arrived at the school, Kenny rushed out of the car to open the passenger seat for Butters. He was nothing if not a gentleman.

"Thanks Kenny, but I can get my own door." Butters said, grabbing his backpack, and then shutting the door behind him.

"Yeah, but I wanted to it for you." Kenny wrapped his arm around Butters and leaned on him, forcing Butters to support his weight.

"Kenny, what are you doing?" Butters asked concerned.

"I used too much energy opening the door for you."

"Stop being silly. Get up."

Kenny went limp, forcing Butters to drop a bit before he could catch himself with the new weight. "Carry me."

"Kenny if you were too weak to open an extra door, you shouldn't have come to school today, much less driven me." Ugh. Sometimes Butters' lack of doubt took the fun out of playing with him. Kenny wrapped his other arm around Butters and pecked him on the lips.

Butters dropped them both to the ground. "W-what was that for?!"

Kenny sprung up, and offered his hand out to Butters. "Look, your kiss has cured me!" Butters rejected the offer for his hand.

"You told me you'd knock that off, Ken." Butters said as he pushed himself up.

"It was a necessary, evil." Kenny shrugged.

"So kissing me is an evil?" Kenny was a little surprised at this quip. He stared at Butters a moment, trying to figure out if he was actually flirting back.

"The furthest thing from it." Kenny finally said. Butters was already five feet ahead of him.

"Hurry up Kenny, or you're going to be late."

When they reached the main hallway, Kenny saw Cartman hiding behind his locker, while glaring/peeking at Kyle who was talking to Tweek.

He was going to pick on Cartman, but then he heard Tweek gasp, and saw the relief wash over the spaz's face. He turned and saw Craig—who was alive and well—walking toward Tweek.

* * *

Craig marched past the students of South Park High. His target clear. He could see Red talking to Bebe and Wendy in the background. Good. He wanted her to see this. He wanted everyone to see this.

Tweek was talking to Kyle by Kyle's locker. Craig pushed Kyle aside and slammed Tweek into the locker. He ignored Kyle's protest and the heads it caused to turn toward him, and grabbed Tweek by the collar. He smashed his mouth against Tweeks'. Tweek tried to push him away, but Craig just shoved his tongue down his throat. Tweek sputtered, but Craig pushed him back against the locker and held him there.

Their kiss—really more of a forced makeout—lasted about a minute, until Craig finally released a gasping Tweek. There. Craig had finally laid claim to what was his. Now everyone knew who Tweek belonged to. Now Red could get it into her thick skull that she needed to back off and that Tweek was his and only his and was-crying. Tweek was crying.

Tweek backed away from Craig, half enraged and half miserable. Craig took a step toward him, and Tweek shrugged away before he could touch him. Tweek looked around at all the shocked faces of their classmates who had just watched this all transpire. "Please don't tell my parents!" He sobbed, and then ran for the school door.

Kenny saw two things happening in slow motion. Craig beginning to run after Tweek, and Red turning to attack Craig. He rushed to block Craig from making a huge mistake. Craig needed to give Tweek some time to calm down and himself some time to get to his senses. What the fuck had he been thinking? Outing them both without permission.

"Get out of my way, Kenny." Craig said. Kenny caught Red's arm just as she was about to claw Craig.

"Give him some space, Craig." Kenny said, not budging.

* * *

"You bastard!" Red Screamed. "Why would you do that to him?" Maybe Tweek even liked Craig, and never liked her. Maybe Red was still sore about being rejected, but that didn't mean anyone was allowed to make Tweek cry. Tweek didn't deserve that. And if it was true that Tweek and Craig were an item, that didn't mean that Craig got to do that to him, never mind in front of her to spite her. Especially since he had already won. Is this how the victor treated the spoils? The spoils. Exactly, he was treating Tweek like an object. She kicked, and managed to get a hit to Craig's kneecaps, before Kenny pulled her away.

Craig buckled slightly in pain, but recovered, and made to get around Kenny again. "I said get out of my way." Craig was showing some actual emotion-i.e. fury- for once, which if Red were being honest, scared her a bit. But she was too riled up to be frightened. "You fucker! You think I'm going to let you hurt him anymore, you creep?!" She clawed Kenny's arm with her free hand and he released her, She then jumped Craig, knocking them both to the ground. She got in as many punches as she could before Kenny once again pulled her off him, this time by the armpits.

"Let go of me Kenny!" She screamed. Craig sat up. He put his hand behind his head and when he brought it to his face to look at it, she could see that it was covered in blood. She didn't care, all she could see was red anyway.

* * *

Kenny's arm throbbed. Red must really Like Tweek. Holding her as she struggled and shook against him was no easy feat.

Craig, the crazy bastard, tried once again to get around Kenny. Red started swinging as he came close. Kenny barely had time to curve her out of the way before she could cause more damage. Still he couldn't let Craig go after Tweek, so he quickly released Red and caught her again in one arm, freeing his other hand to grab Craig's wrist. Craig was probably concussed and therefore couldn't put up as much of a fight. Still, "Let me go, Kenny!" Both Red and Craig shouted. He saw a teacher approaching them and realized that the bell must have rung ages ago, because they, and Cartman for some reason, were the only ones left in the hallway.

"Red. Let it go." He ordered. Red looked at him incredulously.

"As if! This motherfucker is getting the beating that's coming to him." Craig didn't seem to care about what was going on with Red.

"You owe me!" He practically cried, bringing up the favor he had gotten from her in exchange for a seat change. Red hesitated, remembering that she did indeed owe Kenny a favor. Kenny wasn't someone you wanted to double-cross. Though it seemed like years ago that she had even promised to do something for him, she relented.

"Fine," She spat. Kenny released her. "But if he pulls this shit again, he's dead."

"I'll help you dig his grave." Kenny said, watching her stalk away. "And you!" He released his grip on Craig, and Craig stumbled back into the lockers. "Go to the nurse's office. You're a mess."

"I have to find Tweek!" Kenny could see that Craig was really distressed, and hopefully guilty.

Kenny held Craig's neck still so that he wouldn't do anymore damage to himself, and began to march him to the nurse's office. "Let go…" Craig said, groaning.

"No. You're going to go to the nurse's office and not talk to Tweek until tomorrow- _if_ he comes to school, that's your favor to me. Kenny managed to get Craig to the nurse's office without much more of a fight.

* * *

Cartman watched his video of the second half of Tweek and Craig's makeout session with glee. It was going to be okay to be gay in South Park again.

He was sitting outside on one of the benches by the cafeteria. He didn't really want to eat lunch with the guys today, knowing a certain redhead would most likely be there. It had been hard enough keeping his eyes from wondering over to Kyle during the classes they shared.

Besides now that Craig and Tweek were a thing again, Cartman felt a lot better about the whole thing. They could probably come out as a couple now…except… Did he want that? I mean obviously he did, but if he asked Kyle out when he was sober and Kyle said no that would be sooo lame. Cartman was a sexy beefcake, but he couldn't help the idiocy of others. And that sneaky little Jew was always trying to undermine him. Cartman wouldn't be surprised if Kyle had gone along with him the othernight, only to crush his heart in front of everyone and embarrass him.

So Eric had some thinking to do. He hit play on his video again. At least if he got rejected, he could claim Kyle was a homophobic tease. And the town would be on his side in this, because when Craig and Tweek were dating, gayness just made you cooler.

"What is that?" Eric flipped around to find Kyle staring down at Eric's phone screen, horrified.

Fuuuuck. The Jew had sniffed him out. Eric wasn't ready for this yet. He made to hide the phone in his backpack, but Kyle snatched it from his hand.

"You recorded them? You heard Tweek, he really doesn't want this getting out."

"Well Tweek doesn't know what he's talking about. Once this goes viral, everyone will be kissing his ass and giving him money again. That sounds pretty sweet to me."

"Viral? What do you gain by embarrassing Tweek like this?"

Cartman sighed, Kyle wasn't getting it. "Kyle you do realize you kissed me on Friday, right?"

Kyle turned almost as red as his hair. "W-what the hell does _that_ have to with anything?" At least he wasn't denying it.

"The town only likes gay people if Craig and Tweek are together."

"That makes no fucking sense."

"Nothing in this town makes sense, Kyle." Cartman shook his head. Maybe Kyle just didn't want to date him, and that's why he didn't want the video getting out. So he'd have an excuse to reject him.

"No, what I mean is…. The town is fine with gay people regardless of whether Craig and Tweek are gay.

"Oh yeah? Remember how Mr. Garrison was fired when the school found out he was gay?"

"That was so long ago! We're way past the first few seasons." Kyle seemed to be trying to delete the video but Eric had locked his iphone when he first tried to put it in his backpack.

"Dammit Cartman, I swear I'm going to throw this against the blacktop if you don't tell me your passcode."

"That's a total invasion of privacy KEwl!" Eric had one too many candid shots of Kyle in his gallery. Kyle made like he was really going to throw the phone. "Fine go ahead. I can just get my mom to buy me a new one. And then I'll have the video again, cause I've already backed my data up to the server!"

"…Dammit." Kyle handed Cartman back his phone. "Come on Cartman you know you can't share that video."

"You just don't get it Kyle. I'm doing this for the both of us. We both kissed a dude the other night. And if that gets out, without this video backing us up, the whole town will think that we are totally and irredeemably lame."

* * *

Cartman wasn't budging. Kyle knew he was going to regret the words that were about to come out of his mouth, but Tweek was too unstable to deal with this, and Kyle was nothing if not a good friend. "What do if I have to do?"

"What?" Eric blinked in surprise.

"What do I have to do to get you to delete that video?" Kyle had taken hits for the team before. He would survive…probably. Oh fuck what had he done.

Eric was silent for a long time. Filling Kyle with more and more dread.  
"….. Well we could talk out the details at my house..." Oh shit. Kyle should have seen this coming. But oddly he wasn't feeling as much despair as he thought he might be. In fact, he was sort of anxious to see where this was heading. He had wanted to talk to Eric about the other night. And maybe Cartman just wanted him to forget what happened. Or maybe they'd end up kissing again. Kyle wasn't pleased that he was sort of wishing the latter were true.

Plus, if it were too much Kyle would just back out. World peace wasn't at stake here this time like it was when Cartman made him be his fart slave. He cared about Tweek, but Tweek would _probably_ survive this getting out.

"Fine." Kyle said, to Cartman's obvious surprise. "I'll meet you at your house after basketball practice."

* * *

Butters was in a good mood when he walked through his front door. He felt that he and Kenny had gotten really close over the last few days, and he was enjoying the time they were spending together as best friends.

That good mood was instantly squashed when he saw his parents waiting for him in the hallway.

"Butters, tell me why I'm amped right now?" Stephen Stotch asked him.

Well he certainly didn't seem calm to him. "W-what?"

Stephen held up an old bottle of Butters' Adderall. They still had some from back when all the kids were getting diagnosed as having ADHD.

"I told you to alphabetize the pills in the medicine cabinet Butters!"

"I-I did!" Oh hamburgers, not this again. Butters had double checked to make sure everything was in the correct order.

"With Z-starting first, so that we could distinguish it from the kitchen."

"I-I did do that!" Butters cried. He had been very careful to start at Z and end at A.

"But you didn't do it in Japanese style."

"W-what?" Butters was completely at a loss.

"We told you to organize the cabinet like the Japanese do Butters! From Right to Left! We're trying to have a more cultured household!"

"But that's just the same as the kitche-"

"No arguing mister!" Stephen roared. "I reached in to get some Viagra, so that your mother and I could could make love, and what do I find instead of an erection? A restless need to vacuum. Do you want your mother to go insane again? Do you want me to only be able to get it up for strangers in a male bathhouse?!"

"N-no!"

"Then go upstairs and think about what you've done mister! Because you are grounded!"

Butters walked upstairs, tears in his eyes. When he reached his room he quietly shut his door, let out a sob, and ran to his bed. He buried his head in his pillow, and let the tears flow. He was old enough to live on his own, he knew. But no matter how hard he tried he was always being grounded, and therefore couldn't devote himself to a job to save up enough to move out.

Why couldn't his parents just read the darn labels?! Why was he the only one in town who got punished over every little thing. Even Kenny was able to stand up to his parents. Butters didn't know how long he would be grounded for, but he doubted he'd be able to go out with Kenny any time soon. Butters usually tried to think positively, but at times like these, hope just seemed so far away.

And in the midst of unfairness and despair, only one thing could thrive in this imperfect world. Chaos.

* * *

 **a/n**

 **I'm baaaaaack! Okay okay. I am very sorry for taking so long to update. This last year went by unbelievably fast for me. Maybe because 2016 sucked so much? I don't know.**

 **So the scene that inspired me to write this story, was that of Craig shoving Tweek against a locker and making out with him. That's it. I got all this from that, lol. I was actually inspired by a Butters x Kenny fic, that I can't remember the name of. In it Kenny is thinking of hooking up with Craig because he misses Butters, but then he sees that Craig and Tweek making out against a locker, (I really liked the scene) and realizes that they are back together in their on again off again relationship. Kenny ends up going after Butters, whose parents have been trying to keep them separated, anyway. If you know what story I'm talking about, please PM me, so I can let everyone know in the next chapter (I'm pretty sure it's rated M if that helps).**

 **I'm really excited about the next chapter, and so hopefully it won't take over a year for it to come out. Look if it doesn't come out in the next month, you can spam me with complaints. You guys really do encourage me to keep going. Especially positive feedback. Everytime you guys commented I would want to work on this chapter. I guess it just took so long because I kept losing my motivation. But it's back for now!**

 **Sorry that this end note is so long. Thank you very much for reading and putting up with my terrible grammar.**

 **Happy New Year!**

 **-kcfantastic**


End file.
